Ectomorphs are highly sensitive people. How highly sensitive people became the new introverts

Published with permission from New Harbinger Publications

Scientific editor Tatyana Lapshina

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without the written permission of the copyright holders.

Ted shares insightful insights, captivating stories about how hypersensitive people deal with adversity, and great practical advice on how they can support body and spirit. But the main thing is that he forms an attentive, respectful attitude towards hypersensitive people. We were lucky to get his attention.

Those who are familiar with my work will surely notice that Ted and I look at many things differently, and perhaps this will change your view of them. Of great importance is the understanding that, despite the similarity of the nervous system, we solve problems and relate to what is happening differently. The more reasoned opinions, the better - and Ted's point of view is worthy of attention.

Elaine Ayron

Introduction

When will the neighbors finally turn off the music? She drives me crazy. I can't take it anymore." - "What music? I can't hear her. Noise shouldn't be that annoying. There's something wrong with you."

There really is no need to worry if you are sensitive to noise, smells, bright lights, can't stand crowds, rush, and can't ignore irritants. It's just that you belong to the 15-20% of people who are called hypersensitive. This quality probably creates a lot of problems for you, for example, a tendency to underestimate self-esteem if others say that you are not like everyone else. Or anxiety and tension when you have to communicate with cheeky, hostile people. You also find it hard to pull yourself together, facing constant irritants throughout the day. In this book, you will learn many ways to survive and thrive in a world of non-HSPs, who are less afraid of aggression and overexertion. By applying the strategies for managing your feature here, you will appreciate your sensitivity and all the benefits of HSP.

The book is not only for hypersensitive people. She will teach those who are not in this category how to support their receptive friends and relatives. In addition, the coping strategies I share will help anyone experience peace of mind more often.

Why I wrote this book

I distinctly remember that I started to get anxious and suffer from insomnia when I was in the fifth grade due to the overload at school. I couldn't ignore irritants and got anxious in a noisy auditorium. By the seventh grade, school life became even harder. I was constantly stressed and could not concentrate on my classes. My parents took me to a psychologist to find out why I "reacted so strongly to everything" both at school and at home. Unfortunately, the doctor, who did not belong to the hypersensitive people, did not understand me and reproached me for excessive irritability.

Twenty years later, while earning my PhD in Stress Management in Psychology, I discovered that the inability to ignore stimuli was the root cause of my anxiety. Trying to fit into the aggressive world only increased my tension. So I made important changes to my lifestyle: I began to suppress my arousal, I stuck to a workout schedule that was right for me, I changed my diet, I started relaxing. In addition, I learned to appreciate and accept my sensitivity. The knowledge gained during my postgraduate studies led me to research in nutrition, meditation and holistic medicine for hypersensitive people. Based on them, I have taught stress management classes to medical staff in hospitals and colleges. Now I teach survival strategies to hypersensitive people and I am ready to tell my readers about it. The methods I describe are as effective for my highly sensitive students as they are for me.

What will you learn

In the book, I will share with you what I learned as a hypersensitive person and a psychologist. I'll tell you about the study of the concept of "hypersensitivity" in a dynamic, crazy world. I will present practical methods and strategies to enable HSPs to succeed in life.

You'll learn how society's patterns reinforce HSPs' negative self-image, how to appreciate your sensitivity, and change the habits that disturb your peace. I will talk about meditation exercises with which you can stay focused and calm, I will teach you how to create a daily routine that contributes to a more relaxed attitude towards external stimuli.

The book provides ways to influence your feelings and deal with the rush. You will learn how to maintain physical health through diet, exercise, and some aids.

Overexertion is closely related to sleep, so we will focus on adjusting sleep phases. You will also learn about innovative relaxation techniques that will improve it. You may not have thought about how being an HSP affects your relationships. This is an interesting and very important aspect of the lives of highly sensitive people. Special methods of harmonious communication with relatives, friends and colleagues will be a pleasant addition to the arsenal of a hypersensitive person.

We will discuss the unique challenges HSPs face in today's competitive work environment and how to cope with these stresses, explore methods for changing adverse conditions and creating a relaxed work environment.

You will understand how a natural inclination for deep feelings can help you experience inner peace. I will tell you how to develop your subtle mental organization and realize the benefits of your life.

We will look at frequently asked questions by HSPs about how to get out of difficult situations. For example, how to endure noise, get along with rude neighbors and colleagues with a difficult character, behave with relatives who ignore your sensitivity. And you will get practical solutions. is a guide to self-healing for hypersensitive people.

Now that you know why I wrote this book and what it's about, it's time to start the journey to peace of mind.

Chapter 1

“I can no longer put up with stress at work. A colleague at the next table discusses something at the top of his voice all day long, and the boss demands strict adherence to deadlines from me. At the end of the day, I feel like a squeezed lemon, I'm nervous and I suck in the stomach.

“Everyone in my family is passionate about adventure, but I prefer to stay at home. It seems to me that something is wrong with me, because I don’t aspire to go anywhere after work or on weekends. ”

Do you know such feelings? If so, then perhaps you are a highly sensitive person.

Text: Grisha Prophets

Highly sensitive people, or highly sensitive people, especially susceptible to external stimulation, the emotions of others, and the details of the world around them in general. We tell you who they are and how to understand if you are one of them.

Who are highly sensitive people?

Highly sensitive people (we will call them highly sensitive people), or HSP, or HSP are people who react more intensely than others to the world around them. Both positive and negative information are processed more attentively by such people, so they can be overwhelmed and overwhelmed by external stimuli - when they are too much or they are too intense. Such people pay a lot of attention to all sensations: tastes, touches, sounds and smells. They are especially sensitive to emotions, their own and others. The press calls them new introverts: highly sensitive people have been especially written about lately, although the phenomenon was defined back in the mid-90s.

Who introduced this concept?

Psychologist Elaine N. Aron identified highly sensitive people for the first time
in his book The Highly Sensitive Person, published in 1996. Aron lived in San Francisco and began studying HSP with her husband Arthur in 1991. Aron describes HSPs as those who are "increasedly sensitive to stimulation" and who are "more aware of details and nuances and process information more deeply, more reflectively than others." Aron believed that Carl Jung, Emily Dickinson, and Rainer Maria Rilke were highly sensitive people and that they generally "are usually poets, writers, teachers, doctors, scientists, and philosophers." It is believed that 20% of the world's population are highly sensitive people.

Why are they suddenly talking about?

The term and Aron's book were not exactly forgotten, no - other researchers wrote about HSP, and scientific articles were published about them, but it was in recent years that the media paid special attention to them. The Huffington Post wrote about how highly sensitive people interact with the world differently, The Wall Street Journal wrote about the phenomenon, even Scientific American remembered Aron and her ideas. In the scientific world, interest in them is also increasing: for example, the first conference dedicated to high sensitivity was held in Brussels. A documentary film called “Sensitive” is being released about the HSP phenomenon, in which, for example, singer Alanis Morissette, who considers herself a highly sensitive person, starred.

Why single out highly sensitive people when introverts already exist?

Because this is a psychological - and neurobiological - category of people according to completely different indicators. Aron developed a 27-point sensitivity scale to highlight HSPs; and, as with introverts, it's not just a binary system, you're not just either a highly sensitive person or not, there is a gradation here. If introverts are primarily defined by their relationships with other people, highly sensitive people are generally defined by their relationship to the world. However, like introverts, HSPs may like to be alone to give their brain a break from stimulation. For example, if you often cry at the cinema, or you are annoyed by strong smells, or you are imbued with the emotions of other people at the most unexpected moments. And this is important to study: because if you understand that you are a highly sensitive person, you can better arrange your life, for example, try to work in quiet and calm places.

Do HSPs really exist?

Oh sure. They are distinguished by many psychologists and neuroscientists. Hundreds of studies have been devoted to high sensitivity, from brain scans to genetic analyses. Research into the brains of HSPs shows that their brain processes are different from those of other people: HSPs are more empathetic, more attentive to their surroundings, and more understanding of other people. The catch is that, of course, there is a trap here, as with introverts: after the word and idea became popular, many began to call themselves highly sensitive people, even those who technically do not belong to them. Everyone wants to consider themselves special, so I want to believe that we understand the world around us deeper and more subtle than others.

In this article we will talk about those problems, features, advantages that are characteristic of highly sensitive people. And this information is likely to change your life. You will experience relief that for many years you could not find in therapy, training, spiritual practices, books, and periodically found yourself on the verge of despair or deep depression. Realize that you are not alone, that everything is in order with you and high sensitivity can serve for good.

The main problems of highly sensitive people

I have identified 8 such problems and you will surely recognize yourself in them if you are a highly sensitive person.

highly sensitive people white crows. Chances are you were the kid who was different from the rest. You were a little avoidant of other children and did not quite understand how to communicate with them.
You adapt to the environment. You have a feeling inside that you have no right to show yourself as real. You do not show your true nature, mimic and pretend that you are the same as everyone else. Even though inside you know you're different. And most likely, you live with it all your life. And it hurts to talk about it.
You have guilt-related problems. You are afraid to offend and disturb other people, it is inconvenient for you to disturb them. You are a very sensitive and tactful person. And often, because of this, it is very difficult for you to communicate with people and express yourself the way you would like.
Strongly developed ideals, representations and stereotypes. They are almost always associated with feelings of shame. You have many ideals that you must live up to. But usually, you don't live up to these ideal ideas of yourself. From this you are very ashamed and hard, because you are constantly aware that you do not fit the different criteria of an ideal person. Because of this, you also have many difficulties.
You subject to someone else's mood. You are very worried when your loved ones feel bad. Your feelings do not allow you to express yourself as you would like. Often, when your loved one feels bad, you also feel bad, as if you absorb his condition and mood.
This problem is very big, it is also peculiar to me. You quickly get tired of others and from communicating with them. Many people can chat for hours on end and feel great doing it. You and I run out of breath much faster, especially if this is empty chatter. Sometimes we meet people, communicate with them, and then we realize that we are wildly tired, but it is inconvenient to leave - a feeling of guilt.
Difficulty making a decision. You try not to make mistakes more than others. You are looking for many solutions, trying to calculate your actions, predict the result. But the problem is that the more options there are, the more difficult the choice becomes. Therefore, we very often get stuck in making a decision and slow down actions, because this applies not only to significant decisions, but also to simple, everyday ones.
You have a hard time with rejection, criticism and negativity. You are like a bare wire. Much of this has to do with your feelings of guilt and shame. After all, you do not correspond to your ideals, which you have absorbed since childhood. And it's hard for you when someone criticizes you and your actions. You can be offended by even a minimal phrase, a comment.

If all of the above, or at least partly about you, you are where you need to be. We will help you reconfigure your actions and habits so that these problems are not so difficult for you. Here you will finally get to know the real you.

Features of highly sensitive people

In this part of the article, you will learn about the four most important features of highly sensitive people. Features are something neutral, they are not problems, they are not pluses and minuses, they are just our distinctive properties, from which advantages and disadvantages follow.

Feature #1. Depth of information processing

This means that you are looking into the essence of things. Remember, there was such a phrase “look at the root”? It's about you. You see some patterns that other people do not see or they need to concentrate or think especially hard. You are focused on understanding the essence of things.

Some of you may even have a philosophical mind. You want to understand some deep meaning, what lies inside. You process information at a special depth. Therefore, you are not interested in chatter about anything and superficial conversations.

Feature #2. Increased irritability of the senses

From this follows your rapid fatigue. It is for this reason that it’s hard for you to be constantly in some kind of parties, it’s hard to talk for a long time, it’s hard when there are a lot of impressions, events during the day, when there is noise and bright light around you, there are always some distractions.

You have a particularly acute reaction to stress because your senses are highly irritable and receptive. It's just a property.

Feature number 3. Increased attention to detail and nuance

It happens by itself, you don't have to do anything for it. You just think in detail and see in detail. If many people see the situation as a whole, then you see everything in detail, you perceive any information in detail. You just scan these details and nuances, some small parts that most people don't get.

That's why we became psychologists, because we hear nuances, we hear details that most people don't pay attention to. This is imperceptible to ordinary people, they pass it on deaf ears, and you notice and notice very well. You see a lot more of some small details, features, strokes, nuances and things like that.

Feature number 4. Increased emotional reactivity

It can be either external or internal. This means that we, highly sensitive people, feel more acutely. We strongly feel everything, we are captured by our feelings. More than half of people consider themselves to be insensitive people in general. Our feelings play a big role.

Perhaps at some point in your life you thought that your feelings were bothering you and decided to give them up. And from that moment on, you most likely started having problems. This happens to many highly sensitive people.

I want you to understand that feelings are your forte. You feel thinner and sharper than most people. Moreover, you feel not only your own, but also someone else's. There are a large number of mirror neurons in our brain that make us empathize with other people. We feel someone else's pain, we feel someone else's joy, someone else's grief, both good and bad other people's states. And this is our property.

So, I told 4 properties of highly sensitive people - the depth of information processing, increased irritability, increased attention to detail and nuance, and increased emotionality.

Accordingly, from these four features, which are neutral in themselves, follow as our minuses, our problems, which I spoke about earlier, our pluses, our strengths, which we will discuss later in this article, also follow from them.

Move on to the next section, there will be about your strengths that have always been with you. Perhaps you did not notice them or did not know how to use them.

Benefits of highly sensitive people

We have already talked about the characteristic HSP features and what troubles they imply by themselves. However, as every coin has two sides, so the disadvantages can be turned into advantages. And there is no one more effective and cooler than a pumped HSP.

High sensitivity suggests a number of advantages that we have over ordinary people.

Benefit #1 Empathy

The ability to deeply empathize with people, to feel what is happening to them emotionally. It is necessary in such professions as a doctor, teacher, psychologist, seller.

Not to mention that it is very useful to feel people: not to run into an irritated boss, to “feel” a favorable state and ask for something in this mood, to support a loved one. After all, people so often need support and silent understanding.

Benefit #2 High Consciousness and Conscientiousness

We cannot do half and if we take on a task, we give ourselves to it completely. Wise leaders appreciate this. And a fanatical attitude to your favorite business cannot but lead to success.

Benefit #3: Attention to detail

Highly sensitive people are able to notice and see something elusive that the average person will not pay attention to.

We are more sensitive to mistakes and shortcomings and strive to eliminate them, from which the result approaches the ideal. The main thing here is not to fall into perfectionism, but you probably already know how to deal with it.

Benefit #4 Focus

The ability to focus and delve deeply into the process is another of our superpowers. Do not distract the HSP and he will give amazing results.

Benefit #5 Depth Perception

Highly sensitive people process information at deeper levels of memory. We do not like superficial perception - we are able to analyze the information received more deeply.Most likely, during your studies it was difficult for you to cram, memorize, but if you understood and delved into it, then there were no problems in memorizing.

Benefit #6: Deep Analytical Thinking

Attention to detail, ability to concentrate and depth of perception together form a quality that deserves special consideration. The combination of these qualities allows you to effectively perform tasks where attention is needed, combined with speed and accuracy. We see cause and effect relationships very subtly, which makes highly sensitive people excellent analysts.

Perhaps the last couple of points caused you some resistance, because. you give the impression of an inattentive person and you yourself are such

think. However, this is not entirely true: the HSP's attention is more tenacious - it is more focused on details and thus you are distracted by them.

Benefit #7: Learnable and Curious

We Highly Sensitive people are constantly learning, even when we don't intentionally do it.

We are constantly developing and improving - we feel an irresistible need for this. And the curiosity and inquisitiveness of the mind does not allow our brains to “rust”.

Benefit #8: Reflection and Analysis of Past Experience

HSPs are able to think and think for a long time. Your past, plan for the future, calculate options.

We think about our behavior: whether we did the right thing, said in a given situation, how we reacted and why. If you do not turn it into self-digging and self-discipline, then this quality can help you avoid many future mistakes and not dance on the old rake.

As you can see, you and I have many useful and unique abilities that are inaccessible to ordinary people.

High sensitivity is not a curse, but a huge potential for pumping and development.

High sensitivity is not fantasy, it is in our biological nature

Friends, next we will briefly talk about some of the studies regarding high sensitivity. There is a big problem here, because when I tell you about high sensitivity, you may have objections. And you say that, of course, it looks like me, but maybe these are notions, this is not serious, and these are my fantasies.

Indeed, such an idea appears. I want you to understand that your high sensitivity is not just thoughts and fantasies. This is in your biological nature.

Evidence of high sensitivity

I will tell you about several scientific studies so that you are convinced that this is really the case, this is your genetic and physiological feature, and not just fantasy. That is, you really are like that and you really belong to a special category of people.

Proof #1.High sensitivity exists, and we find confirmation of this in studies that have been conducted on newborns. That is, an adult can fantasize himself and simply say that he is highly sensitive, but a baby cannot think of anything about himself yet. Certain experiments were carried out on newborn children, they changed the taste of water, etc. 15-20% of children showed increased sensitivity to such changes.

Proof #2.In the United States, studies were conducted using magnetic resonance imaging. People were placed in a tomograph and they were shown pictures of other people experiencing positive and negative emotions. Studies have shown that the brain of a highly sensitive person is more sensitive to the emotions of other people. On the tomogram, it was quite clear that in highly sensitive people the response in the brain to the sight of photographs is much stronger than in ordinary people.

Proof #3.Rhesus monkeys (Macaca mulatta) have a special gene that can be found in highly sensitive people. As a result of the action of this gene, less serotonin is produced in our brains and in the brains of monkeys. Accordingly, there is less serotonin in the brain. This is our distinctive physiological feature. Scientists have determined that a special gene is responsible for this, which is inherited. High sensitivity is an innate human property. So it is considered with a high degree of probability.

Proof #4.In America, telephone surveys were conducted. People were randomly selected, they were called on the phone and asked how sensitive they were. More than half of the respondents (the sample was completely random) said that they were completely insensitive. And only about 20% said they were very sensitive. This is statistical confirmation that highly sensitive people are a special group.

Proof #5.Scientists note that high sensitivity is also characteristic of other animal species. Moreover, if you try, you can arrange a selection, that is, take highly sensitive individuals and cross them. After some time, a separate highly sensitive breed of organisms will be bred.

This is another confirmation so that you do not think that these are some kind of fiction. We are highly sensitive people. This is a separate category of people. High sensitivity is due to our nature, our biology, our physiology, and it is written in our genes.

I hope this news pleases you, it will help you to connect even more easily with who you really are, always have been and always will be.

It is useless to fight with your feelings and emotions, you must learn to use them for peaceful purposes. I hope with our help you will learn to deal with this much better, because we are HSPs ourselves. We had big serious problems, we are psychologists, we have learned to cope with it. And we can help you with this.

Hypersensitivity

Hyperesthesia significantly expands the perception of the world and sharpens sensitivity. Such people are hypersensitive to light, sound, heat, cold and, especially, to excessive excitement. Often, for no apparent reason, they can scream: “Yes, turn off this TV! Nothing to watch!" Or: “Can someone close the window?”

Due to the subtlety of feelings, a person with hyperesthesia captures a lot of details, usually not noticeable to others. Tears of emotion can often be seen in their eyes, they quickly become irritated in stressful situations and, at the slightest injustice, rush into battle. They are sensitive to the tone, words, facial expressions, and gestures of the speaker. Because of this, they need clarifications. In their understanding, one word is not always synonymous with another, because each has its own shades. That is why they so often find fault with words.

People with hyperesthesia are very touchy, they are easily offended by any criticism, reproaches, ridicule, and if the interlocutor has some kind of ulterior motive, they will instinctively guess it.

It is very unpleasant when you receive a lot of information and at the same time come across a misunderstanding of loved ones who did not notice this. “No, you’re making everything up!” is the most common and offensive phrase that ultra-efficient people often hear as soon as they begin to share their impressions with someone.

The level of their interests, the quality of attention and the ability to feel involved in the world around them are directly proportional to their hyperesthesia.

In one interview, Amélie Nothombe explained to an intrigued journalist that she felt guilty for every catastrophe happening in the world. “As soon as there is an earthquake, war or famine, I get the impression that it is because of me, that it is also my fault.”

That is, any information deeply touches people with a super-efficient mind, because they feel part of the existing world. Like Amelie Nothombe, super-efficient people often take responsibility for everything bad that happens in the world, and also reproach themselves for being passive. As we will learn later, the thoughts of the super efficient are controlled by the right hemisphere. It is known that the right hemisphere is responsible for emotions and feelings. It can even be said that all information passes through the soul before reaching the brain. And if so, it is almost impossible to remain rational and cold. Emotions sweep over sensitive people like a sudden storm. Their mood is constantly changing, as if they are rushing on a roller coaster: sometimes they are overwhelmed by bouts of anger and rage, then there is a feeling of anxiety, then depression suddenly rolls over. But in the same way, they can be inspired, take off on a wave of euphoria and feel unspeakable joy.

This hypersensitivity creates many problems. To the feeling of one's own helplessness when it is necessary to control the situation, a misunderstanding of one's own mechanisms and disapproval from others is added. Because in our society, sensitive and emotional people are often considered weak, immature and impulsive, and therefore naive, stupid and reckless. Psychology immediately put a label on them, calling them "people in the borderline state."

If you belong to this group of people, sensitive and emotional, then you know all this very well! People around you constantly read morals to you and grumble, as if they were small children: “It's just stupid to cry or be indignant because of such nonsense. You don't have to take everything to heart. You have to be more flexible." In general, if you listen to these notations, criticisms and advice, which are endlessly poured out on hypersensitive people, you might think that in any life situation you must remain indifferent, indifferent and insensitive. So, is this the only solution to the problem?

Until quite recently, it was thought so. Only rational thinking, logic and dispassion were accepted as correct and reasonable. Emotions, on the other hand, were considered our enemies: they confuse and prevent us from making the right decision. Fortunately, recently a different opinion has appeared: we began to notice that emotions occupy an important place in the process of thinking and in decision-making. It is now customary to use the term EC (emotional quotient) to refer to this emotional mind. This EC shows the ability of the individual to control their impulses, individual motivation, empathy and the ability to find mutual understanding with other people. The super-efficient have a huge emotional potential, it not only fills them, but overflows, and they still do not know how to use it.

Of course, hypersensitive people, constantly experiencing condemnation, listening to criticism and forced to be ashamed of themselves, have formed the most unfavorable opinion of themselves. In the meantime, let's try to imagine a world devoid of this hypersensitivity. No creativity, no empathy, no humor. The population, rational and able to exercise self-control, lives without the slightest warm human feelings. What will happen to humanity that is not able to resent, rebel and, most importantly, fall into enthusiasm, even stupid, but so contagious? Hypersensitivity is the real shadow power. Hypersensitivity is part of everything. If you are hypersensitive, then you are probably benevolent, altruistic and very cordial with those with whom you associate. But in relation to yourself, you are demanding and at any moment are ready to back down and laugh at yourself. The strength of your mind is openness, curiosity, sense of humor and innocence, lively and creative. And finally, your sense of fairness, directness, integrity and sincerity are second to none. The sooner you accept yourself for who you are, the better you will be able to use this incredible sensitivity. Because the key to using your own EC effectively is knowing yourself. As you understand yourself, you will understand and come to terms with your emotional storms. Your emotions will become your friends and guides.

This text is an introductory piece.

Any word can offend him, a minor failure can make him cry, and a small quarrel can lead to serious moral trauma. What is a very sensitive person called? How to call a vulnerable person and what is behind these experiences? Why is the state of mind of some people so precarious?

An individual with a fine mental organization, sensitive to everything that happens in life, is called - sentimental person. This characteristic is most often referred to as a character trait. Moreover, both congenital and acquired.

What is the name of the vulnerable person - who are these people

It is believed that sentimental people are, first of all, creative personalities. Representatives of art professions: artists, writers, stylists, fashion designers. It is these people who are able to notice the little things and attach great importance to them.

Sentimentality is directly, and most obviously, seen in females.

A vulnerable person can be identified from an early age. It is extremely rare that this character trait changes over the course of life - most likely, only its concealment is possible.

By the way, guys love to wear masks of “anti-sentimentality”. However, very often a quite soft, quivering personality can stand behind a stone face.

Why a person is sentimental - reasons for deep sensitivity

As already written earlier, sentimentality is a trait that is determined in a person from birth. However, there are times when a characteristic comes with age. This could be due to several factors:

A serious shock, an event affecting loved ones or one's own personality;
Midlife crisis, rethinking of life, contributions, lived years;
Hormonal disruptions, pregnancy, puberty.

By the way, a shaky, sensitive state of mind is not something shameful, bad. As a rule, vulnerable people are more "human", attentive and reverent to what is happening around.