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Body language: how to look confident? How to appear self-sufficient and confident person How to appear confident in.

Without self-confidence, it is difficult to succeed, because business is all about situations in which you have to leave your comfort zone. And all of them, from meetings and negotiations to sales and managing people, are better for you, the more confident you are.

Here are 7 tricks to boost your self-confidence.

1. Never forget your strengths and don't be too hard on yourself.

For personal use only, make a list of your inherent strengths and what you are really good at. Be honest with yourself and avoid false modesty. It is not necessary to look for and write down outstanding qualities in yourself, these are enough: I keep my desktop in order, I finish what I started, a good memory, and so on. Review this list every week and add new items if possible. There are no ideal people. We all make mistakes. And not always they occur solely through our fault.

2. Watch your health.

If you are in good shape, you can achieve a lot. Regular physical exercise, which you enjoy doing, develops strength, perseverance and increases stress resistance. Eat a healthy diet and get enough sleep. Breaks for rest, time for relaxation and time for yourself should become as integral a part of your daily routine as, for example, brushing your teeth. Enjoy the fact that you look good and try to take everything from life. People around you will treat you with interest and respect.

3. Keep calm and try to alleviate stress.

Avoid hustle and bustle. Develop stress tolerance. Simple relaxation and stress management techniques will soothe your body and mind and become your lifeline. Find time for relaxation every day - at least five minutes. Practice mindfulness for at least a minute every day. Those few minutes will bring a big return.

4. Remember that you, like everyone else, have rights.,

which must be followed at work. Here are some of them: you have the right to your own opinion, to be treated with respect and as an equal, not to be insulted, to be listened to. You have the right to make a mistake, to fail, and to try again.

5. Plan, prioritize and stay organized

You need to know where you are now, where you want to go and how you plan to get there. Know exactly what you want. Weigh everything carefully and plan. Decide what your first step will be and take it. Be prepared to adjust your plan as needed. Whatever challenge you face, prepare for it. If possible, rehearse your actions in advance, such as giving a presentation. Pay due attention to this, and you will not only prepare for the upcoming event, but also increase your confidence and self-esteem.

6. Body language.

Move and speak confidently, and you will not only look like it, but actually feel like it. Raise your head, relax your shoulders and body, and make eye contact with the other person. Show calmness and confidence when you open the door and enter the room. An open posture, a firm handshake, a calm voice will show the interlocutor that you are glad to see him and communicate with him. Your speech should be clear, rhythmic, and infect with enthusiasm. Show your sincere interest and you can show yourself as a charismatic speaker!

7. Visualize.

Imagine that you are chewing on a slice of lemon... Your mouth must have filled with saliva. So? The thing is that the human brain is not very good at distinguishing between what is happening in the imagination and in real world. That is why one of the simplest and effective ways strengthening willpower is a visualization.

All you have to do is imagine a situation in which you want to feel more confident. Try to get a detailed image, then for a few minutes, work through the situation in your mind step by step, coping with any difficulties that you think may arise. The task may sound strange, but it is easy to complete, and the technique works.

You will succeed!

Learn more about how to develop self-confidence and self-esteem in the book

Whatever you want, quickly become a self-sufficient person will not work, especially if you are not confident in yourself. But at first it will be enough to look like as a self-sufficient and self-confident person.

Of course, seeming does not mean being, but if you pretend to be someone for a long time, then in the end you get used to the role and become who you want to seem.

Demonstrate confidence with all your appearance, and not only those around you will believe in it, but also yourself. Look, speech, dress, posture and movement - everything should demonstrate this confidence. Act like you know what you're doing, even if you don't.

Remember, in order to look in the eyes of other people as a self-sufficient, independent person, you need to make a lot of effort. Any weakness and mistake can betray deceit.

There is an expression: "The difference between an independent woman and an old maid is the height of the heel." The first thing you should pay attention to is how you dress. You should choose clothes that you feel confident in, even if they are not super trendy. And, of course, dress appropriately for the place and setting.

And don't get complicated haircuts or hairstyles that can be damaged by the wind or wrinkled under a hat so that you don't feel constantly worried about what's on your head.

Being able to support any topic of conversation is one of the foundations of self-confidence. Improve your conversational skills constantly: study topics that are interesting to others (not just you), talk to strangers, talk as much as possible to feel fluent in communication.

Beware of frank conversations - a self-sufficient person does not let into his inner world everyone and everyone. He is amiable, sociable, but aloof. Hide your emotions. No fawning and uncertain smiles.

And - end the conversation first, say goodbye first. Beware of excess - yourself. When telling something, be brief so that the interlocutor does not get tired.

If you invite someone and they refuse you, don't make any more offers.

Learn confident postures, there is enough literature on this topic. Watch your posture - always keep your back straight. Walk quickly as if you are late for something. Sit in the front rows.

The look should be firm, in the eyes of the interlocutor, but slightly detached and as if directed inward.

There are many situations where an insecure person feels uncomfortable, and even refuses what he wants. For example, take a walk in the park, go to a cafe or to the cinema. Even going on vacation alone is not accepted.

Do not limit yourself in desires. An ordinary chewing gum or a glass of a drink (for example, a latte) will help you feel more confident and liberated. On a subconscious level, chewing is associated with a sense of security, as we eat at a time when nothing threatens us. And also in the eyes of others gives us some superiority (again, this is due to ancient instincts). Of course, in everything you should know the boundaries and understand in what situation it would be inappropriate.

You can take your dog for walks, or listen to music on headphones or just wear them for an independent look. In a cafe - delve into the phone (tablet, laptop, book).
On vacation, actively get acquainted, look for new friends.

Start with simple tricks and soon you will actually feel much more confident.

Many people want to surround themselves with confident individuals. But what if you're not? What if sometimes you feel this confidence and sometimes you don't? This is perfectly normal, and many people experience the same difficulties to one degree or another. If you want to convince others that you are confident and love life, read this article.

Steps

Part 1

Non-verbal signs

  1. Straighten your back. Pull your shoulders as far back as possible so that your chest sticks out forward. This posture will draw people's attention to you. When a person stoops, from the side it seems that the world has pressed him and that he would rather go to bed now.

    • Learn to get up from your chair without leaning forward, especially if you have a sedentary job and an eight-hour work day. Maintaining your posture will be difficult at first, because if you haven't done it before, your core muscles are likely weak. Over time, this will become a habit for you, and you will straighten your shoulders automatically.

  2. Keep your head down and look straight ahead. When a person is not confident in himself, he tends to look at his feet. To convince others that you are confident in yourself, raise your head - this will let people know that you are worthy to draw conclusions about the world, and are not fixated on yourself.

    • Try looking down. What do you feel? Then look ahead and look around. Have your feelings changed? Sometimes the mind follows the body, so if we look down, we feel overwhelmed. If you look ahead, your mood will improve and your self-confidence will grow stronger.

  3. Smile. Plunging into our thoughts, we do not notice how a sad expression appears on the face. To make people feel that you are ready for new challenges, smile. This will let others know that you are friendly and happy to see everyone, so they will be happy to communicate with you, and this will increase the pleasant feelings.

    • Smile sincerely. You should not try to portray a smile, as if you are about to be photographed against your will. In order to learn sincerity, practice. Stand in front of a mirror, tilt your head down, smile, and only then look in the mirror. Whether you like it or not, it's your real smile, not an artificial facial expression that makes you more attractive in photos.

  4. Look people in the eye. By refusing to look at the other person, you are saying that you are afraid of what the person will think of you. To some, this seems like an insult, because you seem not to pay attention to them. To show people that you are really listen to them and participate in the conversation, look them in the eyes. Look away when you see fit or when the situation calls for it, and then return to the direct look again.

    • To learn this (which can be difficult), practice on strangers, smiling and blinking as you do so, of course. Don't look away - let the other person do it first. Remember when was the last time not you looked to the side first.

  5. Relax your body. A person who is often nervous and lacks self-confidence will tug at their clothes and become pinched. A confident person, ready for the next challenge, is calm and relaxed. Walk all over the body, starting with the head, and relax every part of the body. Think about where the stress is. Most often, the backs, buttocks and shoulders are clamped.

    • If you sit cross-legged, clasped your arms, and lifted your shoulders, or even bite your nails while sitting or walking fast, try to relax. A comfortable posture will help you with this.

  6. Assume a position of power. Research indicates that people who adopt this posture (that is, straighten their shoulders and turn their torso to appear larger and more significant) feel more confident about themselves. Put your hands on your hips, spread your legs and show the world who he has to deal with.

    • Imagine that you are talking to the boss with your feet on the table, and he hides his hands. It is immediately clear who is confident here! Therefore, straighten your chest, and sitting in the boss's office, and standing with friends at the bar, and making a report at the blackboard.
    • Practice before everyone important event. If you take even a few minutes into this, you can create an atmosphere of confidence around you, whether it's performing in front of a large audience or just meeting a new person.

  7. Walk fairly fast. The slower a person walks, the more he talks to himself. The faster a person walks, the stronger his self-confidence. In addition, due to the fast pace, he begins to keep his back straight, that is, the speed allows you to kill two birds with one stone.

    • Walking quickly shows that you have a reason to walk, that you have a goal and motivation to do something. A slow pace indicates lethargy and no reason to move. The first one should be much more to your liking.

    Part 2

    confident speech

    1. Lower your voice. If you are unsure and nervous, your voice rises. It's not always possible to understand that this is really happening, so try to consciously lower your voice, whether you notice it or not. If you feel that something is going wrong, pay attention to your voice.

      • Lower your tone and start talking louder. In other words, don't be afraid to speak up! This will let others know that you think your thoughts are worthy of being heard. And then they will really start listening to you.

    2. Speak slowly. When a person is nervous, he begins to speak not only in a higher voice, but also faster. So the next time you give a presentation, slow down. And a bit more. Slow down until you feel like you are speaking too slowly. Most likely, this is the pace that will be optimal.

      • An insecure person wants everything to be over as soon as possible, so he starts talking faster. To give the impression of confidence, stop rushing - let people think you enjoy being the center of attention.

    3. Use the pronoun "I" in speech. Confident people speak persuasively and use the pronoun "I". You should not formulate the thought like this: "You make me angry" - it's better to say this way: "I'm angry with you", because this way your thought will be more direct and frank. Talk about yourself. No one will dare to argue with you!

      • Ask interviewers questions about them. People love to be listened to. However, you need to be an active participant in the conversation, which means that you should not only listen, but also speak. If it comes to something familiar to you, talk about your experience. If a person is talking about your favorite movie, it's not enough to just say, "Yes, it's a great movie." Better say something like this: "I love this movie very much. In fact, this is my favorite movie. Last Friday I saw it for the fifteenth time."

    4. Be pleasant in communication and avoid gossip. Nobody likes people who are always unhappy with something, complaining and spreading rumors about friends and enemies. This suggests that the person does not love himself, so do not be such a person! To appear confident in your abilities, convince the world that you are fine, and this will be reflected in your actions and words.

      • Try to be softer in your thoughts. Instead of saying that you hate Thai food, say that you prefer Italian food. Don't say that a friend bought terrible shoes - tell her that she made a very unusual choice.

    5. Don't talk nonsense. Have you ever had to start a conversation with new acquaintances just to get rid of the feeling of awkwardness? Such feelings indicate that you are nervous and insecure. Be prepared to be quiet. What to do with the feeling of embarrassment? Pay no attention to him. It is possible that you are the only one experiencing it.

      • Listen more than you talk. If you constantly turn the conversation to yourself, people will think that you are annoying and intrusive. Relax. Let others speak. A confident person doesn't feel the need to be the center of attention all the time. Let others be there, at least for a little while.

    Part 3

    Good Habits

    1. Don't overthink. Let's say you're sitting at a bar and you see a nice guy or girl sitting down next to you. First, you imagine talking to her or him and asking for a phone number. Then you start to doubt, and fear takes over. At this point, you start overthinking. Don't think - just go. Go and do it. Don't let thoughts get in the way.

      • If you think for more than three seconds, you will start to wind up yourself, and worrying has never led to anything good. Silence your inner voice and do what you want before you start to doubt. Your inner voice has no idea what it's saying!

    2. Remember that people are so focused on themselves that they are unlikely to notice anything. As a person matures, it begins to seem to him that everyone is looking at him under a microscope, trying to see all the shortcomings. In fact, all other people are too self-absorbed to pay attention to others, and face the same fears. The only person who cares about the impression you make is yourself.

      • An insecure person is vain - it seems to him that everyone is looking at him. Do you think that someone is laughing at you? Does he analyze what you say and do? If only in your own world. But it's not bad - it's very good. Your actions are influenced only by your imagination.

    3. Laugh. Laughter will fill you with sincere joy. It will relieve tension, improve your mood, and it will be easier for you to smile, which will help you act confident, that is, you will play your role 10 times more convincingly.

      • Feigning confidence is hard, but being joyful is a little easier. If someone jokes, laugh. Be prepared to smile at the right moment. Everyone likes joyful people, and joy is often associated with confidence.

    4. Dress well and take care of yourself. Think about the last time you failed to style your hair. You must have thought everyone was looking at you. And how did you feel when you dressed up and went to the city center? Most likely, you were very good. Sometimes consciousness projects the external appearance onto the self-perception. If you need to feel confident in your abilities, put on your favorite outfit and get yourself in order. If you look good, you will feel much better too.

      • People often judge people by their appearance. A well-groomed person seems educated, smart, wealthy and more attractive. People are so arranged that they always judge by clothes. Use it to your advantage.

    5. Be active. Often people confuse active participation with self-confidence. If you need to work on your confidence, start by actively participating. Did your favorite song play on the radio? Tell your company how you like it. Someone suggests going to the cinema to see a movie you've been wanting to see for a long time? Tell everyone how long you've been waiting for it to hit theaters. Your positive energy will be transferred to other people, and they will all feel that you are full of strength and self-confidence.

      • Your gestures must match the words. Imagine that someone says in a low voice that they want to see this movie, while looking down at their feet and hiding their hands in their pockets. It probably won't sound convincing. Now imagine that someone's eyes light up when they hear about a new movie, and they happily say that they really want to see it. It will be much more convincing.

    6. Tell yourself that you can do it. The human brain is a very powerful mechanism. Research has shown that the power of expectation can even stop cancer from progressing. This is called the placebo effect. The patients thought they were taking medicine, but they were actually taking empty pills, and they doesn't matter got better. If you tell yourself that you can achieve something, there is a chance that you will achieve it. If you keep telling yourself that it won't work, prepare to fail.

      • Most often, a person determines his own future. If you feel like you have no reason to be confident, you won't feel that confidence. If you decide that nothing will work out for you, you will not succeed. The right attitude can change everything. And who decides what the approach will be? Only you.
    • Fake it until you feel that self-confidence is ingrained in you.
    • Don't think too much about what needs to be done to make the right impression. Try to be natural.

Often, body language says more about a person than his words. With the help of sign language, you can find out the mood and self-awareness of a person, understand when he is telling the truth and when he is lying.

They say it's better to see once than hear a hundred times. This usually refers to events and spectacles, but in our case, this expression is also suitable. Imagine the situation: You are approaching an important client or a woman. How do you look? What message do you broadcast during your journey through the premises? What do your arms, shoulders, eyes look like? What they're saying? What information do people get about you before you even open your mouth? Never thought? And it would be nice. You can start thinking right now. 1. Keep your hands out of your pockets
This is the first and most important tip. Avoid pockets like fire. We put our hands in them when we are uncomfortable, when we are unsure of ourselves. And as long as you keep your hands in your pockets, people will perceive you that way.

We instinctively hide our hands when we are nervous; and if you keep them in plain sight, it serves as an indicator of confidence and shows others that you have nothing to hide. And because of this posture, they begin to slouch, and there is nothing good in that. Alternatively, put your hands on your belt, this conveys more confidence.
2. Don't fidget
When you do not find a place for yourself, it is immediately clear that you do not control yourself. A man who cannot sit still, an agitated man, looks tense and somewhat insecure. Hands are your worst enemies, you need to try to keep them in place. Try to control your gestures. Also, don't tap your foot when standing or sitting - it's annoying and gives the impression that you urgently need to use the toilet.
3. Look ahead
The most non-obvious way to show self-confidence, but it works, and how! When you go somewhere alone, sometimes it seems natural to lower your eyes and look at your feet, but this is a deceptive impression. If you follow this desire, then others will receive a signal that you do not want to start communication. This behavior can even become a habit that will work against you. Lift your chin and look straight ahead, even when no one is around.
4. Stand up straight with your shoulders back
Good posture is almost the most important component of your image. Keeping your back straight can be oh so difficult, especially if you've been slouched all your life, but it can be overcome. Good posture is a sure sign of a confident person. Concentrate on your squared shoulders. Do not overdo it, do not stick out your chest. This simple action works wonders. Try it in front of a mirror - you will be surprised how big the difference will be.
5. Take long strides
A self-confident person will never sneak or mince, so pay attention to how you walk. If you want to give the impression of confidence, walk with long strides. They will make your walk purposeful and instill in you the peace of mind that distinguishes a confident person.

6. Firm handshake
Probably everyone has heard about it. Few things are worse than a languid, uninteresting handshake during an acquaintance. It feels like squeezing boiled fish. Not very nice. Don't be a boiled fish! Instead, take the other person's hand confidently and firmly. If you greet your friend, you can even shake his hand with both hands (with your free hand, take the interlocutor just above the elbow) - you will demonstrate remarkable enthusiasm. The main thing is not to get carried away. A handshake is not a competition, you don’t have to tear off a person’s hand, measure is good in everything.
7. Appropriate appearance
Imagine: You enter a room full of beautiful women or respected colleagues. And now pay attention to how you look: shaggy, with bad skin, greasy hair - is it similar? When a person knows that he looks bad, it is hard for him to be confident in himself. This is also a kind of gesture. Such a big gesture, with the whole body. Everything should work for you: hair, face and even smell - for you, and not against you! Don't be afraid to experiment, by the way.

8. Smile
Confident people smile because they have nothing to worry about. Try an experiment: smile at a passerby on the street or a random person in the office. There is a good chance that he will smile back. Well, if you will produce such an effect on everyone?

That people who show more confidence than competence are more respected, have more influence and achieve higher social status. But there are times when you feel insecure, such as when you're on stage, participating in a meeting, or having a face-to-face conversation with a new employee or colleague you're intimidated by.

In these situations, you can still look confident. Here's how.

8 win-win ways to look confident

Veronica Elkina

Focus on your immediate presence. Use your body to show confidence before you even say a word. This will let others know that you are a leader. For them to believe it, they must see it. Here are 8 tricks that will help you instantly create a confident look.

1. Maintain eye contact with the other person

When you interact with people, look them in the eyes. Do not look around and do not bump into. When you focus on people, they feel they are important to you. Along with this feeling will come respect for you.

2. The handshake must be confident

Don't forget to shake hands when you meet. A firm handshake shows that you are greeting the other person and that you are giving them your full attention.

3. Lightly touch the other person's shoulder

A light touch on the shoulder of the interlocutor during a handshake helps to show not only confidence, but also cordiality. Touch is a powerful technique. If you apply it correctly, then you will not only show that you are confident, but also help the interlocutor to relax. This gesture is often used by Barack Obama. When meeting, he puts his hand on the shoulder of the interlocutor, thereby showing his supremacy.

To some, this technique may seem too bold, especially if you are younger than the interlocutor or are his subordinate. But to move up the corporate ladder, you need to start behaving like the leader you want to be early on. Just don't overdo it. A quick light touch should express your confidence and leadership skills(which you can manifest in any position), and not an attempt to dominate.

4. Stand up straight, do not lean or lean against anything

If you have to speak in front of an audience or talk to a person standing up, don't lean on a podium, wall, or bar. Stand straight. You want to show that you are passionate about the discussion, and not just lazily listening to the conversation.

5. Stand firm

If you cross your legs or shift your weight from one leg to the other, people may get the impression that you are twitching and nervous.

6. Fill the space with gestures

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