So, you are walking and hungry. What should be done in this case? Go to a cafe or grocery store. So, the word “products” in Czech sounds somehow completely unappetizing: "potravina" . Even more unappetizing sounds the phrase "fresh products" - "sickly weeds" . So, bon appetit, and this is just the beginning. In the store you will certainly find "freezing" - ice cream, "greenery" - vegetables and "ovotsi" - fruits. If you're lucky, then "bestial" , that is, you will get hold of the game. But it's so small. The main thing here is not to confuse fruits with vegetables. And not only them.
You can also confuse the smell and ambre, that is, the stink. For the smell in Czech - exactly "wun" . And the fact that we have a stink, the Czechs - "smell" . That is why the perfect creations of Lancome, Dior and Chanel, that is, perfumes, sound somehow unpresentable in Czech: "stinkers". By the way, about the perfect creation. At the well-known Coca-Cola advertising posters with a frozen bottle, Russian tourists habitually choke with laughter, because the inscription on the poster, in the Russian equivalent, is a perfect creation, and in Czech - "finished the creature" !
Well, finished it - so finished it, what really :-) If you need to go somewhere, don't forget to buy "ride" - a ticket with which you can sit in "saddle" - armchair. Of course, if it is not by anyone before you "cased" - busy. Airplane in Czech "letedle" , helicopter - "swivel" and the stewardess "fly" . Avto cheap flights - just " years« . But all this is trifles and nonsense compared to "melting" - boat and "Spanking" - catamaran. Word "homeland" in this wonderful language means family, and "the country" - the consignment. Intelligent young Czechs in the evenings are invited to "divadlo" - theater of their "Pirdelok" i.e. girls. Homes are all over here "barracks" . Well, it's a real shame. By the way, the word "a shame" - important and useful for every tourist traveling to the Czech Republic. And it does not mean public condemnation, but “attention”. The phrase warms the heart of an experienced traveler in the Czech Republic. "shame on the left!" — Attention, discount! But this ad does not at all speak of shortcomings. public transport, but simply advises to beware of a sudden tram.
By the way, how harsh Czech trams are can be judged from the video at the beginning of the post. But in other phrases, Czech "a shame"
charming. For example, "shame on the dog"
here they write on the fences, this is the well-known "beware, angry dog." BUT "Shame on the police thief"
- does not mean at all the true face of the Czech servants of the law, but only that "Attention, the police warn." I hope that after my short educational program, the young ladies who first appeared in Prague will not be shocked by the appeal to them "Ahoy pirdelka!" - it's just "hello, girlfriend!". An ad on a nightclub that reads "Divki for free" does not mean at all that behind the cherished door there are workers of the most ancient craft, engaged in it solely out of love for art. It means that girls have the right to free entry to this club. And when I add that "scoundrel" in Czech, this is not at all what everyone thought, but almost a compliment, that's what the Czechs call a tall, stately guy, the phrase will not scare anyone "bastard with cattle on the plavidle" - it only means that this guy is with an oar and on a boat. Personally, when I first got to Prague, I was dumbfounded by the abundance of establishments with the inscription Herna. This was in 2004. In Russia at that time, mobile phone shops proliferated in approximately the same number - literally at every turn. At first I thought that it was the same ... bullshit.
Gaining courage, we went into one of them. The establishment turned out to be absolutely empty, if you do not count the bored bartender and the ranks of one-armed bandits. herna in Czech - gaming club or casino. We modestly declined the offer to place a bet, but drank a glass of beer with pleasure. It is incredibly cheap and tasty in Prague. 
Here is a list of funny Czech words and phrases to keep in mind so you don't goof off.
Residential building - barrack
Dacha - hut, hut (depending on size and cost)
Skyscraper - gloomdrake
Celebrations, entertainment - radovanki
Rainfall - battles
Broke out (war, etc.) - bulged
Beautiful - terrible
Products - potravina
Persimmon - what
Tomatoes - raychata
Cucumber - cigarette butt
Pickled cucumbers - kisele cigarette butts
Buckwheat - toadstool
Potato - bramboree
Soup - vole
Cream - sour cream
Tipping - spropitne
Free - free of charge
Diver - Potapech
Ticks - klishchat
Animals - Zvirzhata
Shark - zhralok
Smell - vune
stink - smell
Perfume - stink
Smart - cunning
scammer - submariner
Fight - jerk
Fast train - Rykhlik
Stewardess - flyer
Airport - letishte
Airplane - flying
Armchair - saddle
Machine - vozidlo
Sink - wash basin
Catamaran - shlapadlo
Oars - bastard
Loss, misfortune - Skoda (probably that's why the famous Czech car factory was called that)
Dance hall - tanchirna
Accounting - accounting
Ball - Ples
Fuel - fire
Fat - fat
Fatty - obese
Penguin - fat man
Salary - bribe
Luggage - zavazadlo
Ticket - yizdenka
Food - Yidlo
Heat - bucket
Harvest is a freak
Binoculars - cuckoo
Telescope - far-sighted
Pants - tights
Briefs - tights
Beware - shame
Brothel - bride
Boobs - goats
Of course - hum
Basement - crypt
To live - to live
Place of residence - bydlishte
Cousin - brother
Socks - leggings
Pantyhose - Punchohache
Bag - cable or tashka
forgot - remembered
remember - forget
Joke - sranda
Idiot is a pet
Tax - crush, tribute
Headphones - hearing aid
Ice cream - zmrzlina
chewing gum - chewing gum
Game - animal
Bird - bird
wild - wild
Wild boars
Cat - tussock
Fruits - ovoce
Vegetables - greens
Stewed vegetables - green dusena
Heels - Patches
Beginner - conceiver
Bachelor - baby
Helicopter
Vacuum cleaner - vysavach
sniff - sneeze
Theater - divadlo
Perfect Form - Finished Creature
Fresh products - hearty pots
Poet - fabulist
Mechanic - slender locksmith
Shame on the left! - Attention, sale!
Shame, pes! - Be aware of dogs!
Shame on the waruye police! - Attention, the police is warning!
Pisek Meat Processing Plant is so called because Pisek - Big City in the Czech Republic (from Czech sand)
Put your finger through your throat - Strch prst skrz krk (they will tell you in the hospital if you are poisoned)
Casino - shit
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Short course of the Czech language.
Czech is funny. Many words are very similar to Russian or Ukrainian, so you understand a lot. But sometimes, because of the external similarity, you can be very deceived.
Why, for example, are signs with the word "shame!" hanging all over the country? Who are they condemning? But no one. "Shame" in Czech is not a shame at all, but attention! 
Imagine if the Czechs told you that you stink terribly? What do you think?
What it really means is that you smell great! Because terrible means beautiful. And spirits in Czech are called "stinkers" - I'm serious!
The Czechs in Russia also get into trouble. Our beautiful Elena told a story about a Czech friend who tried to find stale bread with us. He wondered for a long time why the bakeries told him that there was no stale. It turns out stale in Czech means fresh - of course no one understood it! That is, "stale potravina" is actually fresh food))
The Czech language is artificially revived, like Hebrew. The Czech Republic has been part of Austria-Hungary for so long that it has practically lost its native speech, for more than a hundred years Czech was simply under a direct ban. Several generations of Czechs managed to change, speaking and thinking in German and not knowing their native language, it was spoken only by grandmothers in distant villages. Therefore, when in late XVIII centuries, the language began to be revived, great difficulties arose - there were no native speakers left, teaching skills were lost, new words appeared that did not exist before, and it was not clear how to call them in Czech. What remained was the spelling, set out by Professor Jan Hus himself, until he became interested in politics. But much has been recreated.
In particular, some neuter nouns with the -dlo suffix (and these are probably the funniest words in Czech). Stress everywhere on the second syllable:
letadlo - a plane (and a stewardess in Czech will be a flyer!)
vozidlo - machine
plavidlo - boat
paddle - catamaran
klepadlo - door knocker
sidadlo - seat
divadlo - theater
scarecrow - monster, ghost 
As a bonus - a little divadla about the scarecrow: the incomparable Jozhin with Bazhin!
And a few more words about another Czech language - road signs. They seem to be almost the same as ours. But look how much more human they look thanks to small details - a hat on a pedestrian, a bow on a girl ... These signs were clearly developed back in the days when men without hats and girls without bows did not exist in nature. 
Here's what they look like on the website of the Czech traffic police. You can look at the details for a long time:
You can see my other posts from the Czech Republic by the tag