How to learn to be distracted from bad thoughts in your head? How to distract yourself from obsessive thoughts that make your day useless It is worth distracting.

The desire to be distracted is a natural reaction that often occurs when we want to avoid some unpleasant or negative moments in life. For example, when we are in physical or mental pain, some of us get distracted in unhealthy ways - getting addicted, hurting ourselves, overeating, and the like. But distractions can also be beneficial, especially if addiction or other harmful behaviors have become a habit. Distractions will help you stop taking drugs by giving you time to shift your attention to something else. When distracted in the right way, it helps to pass the time, switch attention or calm down. Thus, entertainment, relaxation techniques, and so on will help you get distracted.

Steps

Choosing the Right Ways to Relax

Keep in mind that distraction can be both healthy and unhealthy. Distraction is a mechanism that we use to avoid difficulties or an overabundance of emotions. Some unhealthy distractions include eating junk food when you're stressed or using alcohol and drugs. For example, to solve an anger management problem, a person may resort to drugs to drown out overwhelming emotions.

Acknowledge the emotions you are experiencing. It would be better to accept and part with those negative feelings that you are experiencing. You can still resort to distractions, but keep in mind that this will only distract you from the problem at hand. This will only hide and ignore the negative emotions you experience.

Recognize that distraction can overcome bad habits. If you're addicted, try distracting yourself so you don't make it worse. The desire to be distracted means that you have realized how harmful it is to indulge your addiction. You make a conscious decision to approach your addiction constructively.

Count to 100 to pass the time when you feel like taking drugs or drinking alcohol.
Take a break to take a breather before dealing with negative emotions.

Turn bad habit into a healthy distraction. The natural response to stressful situation or the emotion could be an unhealthy distraction, like consumption a large number junk food or alcohol. There is nothing wrong with being distracted after making your negative emotions. However, you should do something useful in order to treat your body and mind with respect and care. Here are a few things you can keep yourself busy with:
- go for a walk;
- eat fruit instead of a candy bar;
- read a book;
- tidy up at work.
Go in for sports. Experiencing negative emotions - it's time to exercise. Walking or cycling will allow you to focus on one thing.

Get some sleep. During sleep, your mind will quieten down and all active thinking will stop. Lie down on the bed and take a short nap.

Entertainment

Listen to music. Download a new playlist and listen to music. Find a comfortable place to sit and listen carefully to the music. Focus on the lyrics and melody. Try to hear when an instrument starts playing.

Watch TV or a movie. Watching TV or a good movie can help take your mind off pressing problems or thoughts. Immerse yourself completely in the story of a series or movie.

Be sure to choose a movie or series that doesn't remind you of your problems. For example, if you want to take a break from heartache or relationship breakup, don't watch a movie where a character breaks up with someone.

Play a video game. Video games have compelling narratives that draw you into their world. While playing a massively multiplayer online role-playing game (MMORPG), you can chat with other people and take your mind off the pressing problems.

Read a book. Find a book with a good and poignant story, or reread your favorite novel. Choose some light reading. If you constantly think about what you read or look in the dictionary, you will lose the thread of the story and completely get confused in the plot.

Psychologists advise many ways on how to do this and at the same time learn to control your mind and emotions.

So, the advice of a psychologist: how to distract from bad thoughts? In order to distract from bad thoughts, psychologists advise to understand their essence. After all, bad thoughts are those unresolved problems, those things that have remained unexplained for us, as well as problems that may have already gone into the subconscious. From this it follows that in order to stop the flow of bad thoughts, you need to understand their essence, find out where they come from and at the base of what problem they grow. Analyze the flow of this information well: what do your thoughts have in common, what topics do they have, try to guess what subconscious problem they may carry. Having found it, try to solve it, first remembering why it arose, what was the reason for this. By finding a solution to the problem, you will get rid of the constant bad thoughts that it inspired you.

Sometimes it also happens that the negative becomes something ordinary for you, and the consciousness is more and more often filled with bad thoughts of various subjects. They will become commonplace for you, and dealing with them becomes an almost impossible task. Philosophers have said that nothing travels as fast as thought, and nothing is so hard to stop.

For example, imagine in detail the sea, forest or other beautiful nature, besides, feel it, get involved in it with your consciousness, expose yourself to this idea. Now imagine a large pendulum against this background, draw every detail of it, imagine well what it looks like. Now run it and imagine each of its oscillations. You can change the tempo from faster to slower and vice versa.

Imagine sound and ticking, create the whole picture. After some time try to stop the pendulum and you will see that it is very difficult, almost impossible. The pendulum, drawn by our imagination, ceases to obey it, and it is sometimes very difficult to imagine how it begins to stop. This is an example of how hard it is to eradicate a thought or idea. But still, we can learn it.

If you notice that you have become sad and you are overcome by bad thoughts, you become more anxious, remember what brings you the greatest joy or pleasure. This is a very good and effective technique that helps to regularly cope with negativity. For example, you really like one humorist, or you have a favorite childhood book that you re-read with pleasure, and this gives you a smile, a good mood.

Another good way to fight like this is to do something that requires special attention and concentration. When you are happy to get involved in an interesting or stressful business, you are very good at distracting yourself from the back thoughts, filling your head with those necessary ones that go to the solution of the work being done.

Psychologists also recommend the visualization method. Bad thoughts come from obsessive fear and fear comes from a sense of self-doubt. Repeat to yourself often about your importance, about your virtues, become more convinced of your virtues.

You can eradicate obsessions like this: imagine yourself as a large and bright solar ball that is filled with positive energy, brings goodness and joy, radiates a lot of light and warmth. Now imagine your bad thoughts as little bugs swarming around you. The more satirically you imagine it, the funnier these midges will be - the better. You will soon notice how stupid your bad thoughts look, how much they interfere with you, and also learn to laugh about it. A very good way to deal with fear is laughter. Imagine your fear with something small and funny, dress it up in a wonderful outfit or simulate a funny situation - it will already appear before you in a different light. Laughing at your fear, you overcome it and eradicate it. Satire is a good tool for dealing with such problems.

Also, a good weapon to fight bad thoughts is… good thoughts. Ask them a counterattack and put a good thought on all the bad things that arise in your head. Learn to see the other side of the coin, namely, its better side. Be more optimistic and you will see that in all those bad thoughts and thoughts that you are fighting, there are good moments and aspects, and that there are even more of them than you imagine.

For example, you constantly think about your shortcomings, do not love your personality and body, sometimes it even seems to you that you are the weakest person you know, you are tormented by the fact that you are worse than others. You constantly criticize yourself, look for your mistakes, which then spin in your head and haunt you. What to do in this case? Look for your good qualities, consider yourself from the other side. If you cannot find enough positive qualities in yourself, or if you are unsure of yourself, ask your friends to express their opinion about you and support you in this. They will point out to you what they value you for, why you are an individual and a person, what you should be respected for. See that negative thoughts will disappear very soon.

The feeling of love is one of the strongest in the world. It transforms people, completely changes, if not their life, then their sense of self. Modern psychology pays a lot of attention to falling in love, because its mechanisms are not yet fully understood. Speaking about this state, one cannot rely on ordinary everyday stories and concepts. Scientists have proven that such a feeling is not a whim, but a serious condition caused by special chemical reactions in the body.

We all know that feeling when we fall in love. Symptoms of this "disease" can now be found in many psychology textbooks. The main ones include:

Rapid heartbeat (as if the heart were jumping out of the chest).
Changes in body temperature.
The goosebump effect.
Dilation of the pupils (especially when looking at the object of passion).
Feeling of flight.
Exacerbation of feelings.
Feeling drunk.
A surge of strength.
Inability to concentrate.
No fatigue.
Fixation on the image and thoughts about a particular person.

One or two points by themselves mean nothing. But if there are more than half of them, then the reason for the strange behavior becomes clear - it's all about falling in love. All these sensations are biochemical in nature. The main substance is phenylethyleneamine, which is responsible for all the physiological sensations of falling in love. By the way, it is also contained in chocolate, which is why many people love it so much.

Another component of the chemistry of falling in love is adrenaline. Thanks to this component, we have such a surge of strength and excitement. Endorphins are also involved in these processes, which are responsible for the feeling of happiness, as well as for the safety of the immune system. Being in love has a positive effect on her, that is, it has a good effect on health.

Negative consequences

But love also has a less rosy side. Positive changes in state are possible only when it comes to mutual feeling. After all, when we cannot distract ourselves from thoughts and unrequited love, we lose our appetite, we are haunted by apathy, which can bring with it nervous breakdowns and exacerbation of diseases. Many people suffer from insomnia at this time, and there are cases when alcohol abuse occurs. Needless to say, even not in such radical manifestations, being in love distracts, does not allow you to work or study, and also simply enjoy life.

Having fallen in love with the opposite sex, a young girl or guy, who for some reason did not receive reciprocity, just wants to be distracted. But since the feeling is serious, you can’t just get rid of it. There are universal ways to forget the obsession and quickly return to the previous course of life:

frank conversation with yourself, search for answers in yourself. Psychology says that it is not the very fact of refusal that offends us, but the fact that we cannot understand its reasons. In the future, such life turns can result in serious problems with self-esteem. Therefore, it is important to understand yourself first of all, listen to your feelings. The writing method works well. It is necessary to write down on paper all the claims to these relationships, why they are impossible and what to do about it. Systematization will help get rid of obsessive thoughts;
wedge by wedge method. Not everyone is ready for such drastic measures as changing the object of love. Yes, and the heart, as you know, you can’t order. But it is possible to replace the object of passion at the subconscious level with some pleasant pastime. It is worth looking at the situation positively: why not start a new hobby that will completely distract from old feelings? By changing ourselves, we change our attitude to the former ideals;
focus on career and study. Our brain is a multitasking system, but even it is not ready to focus on both love and work at the same time. Use it to your advantage: go to work or study. This will not only have a positive effect on your career, but will also allow you to quickly forget about love;
choice of sport. It is not for nothing that it is believed that the spirit comes out of us in the hall. Negative emotions are dulled along with a noble feeling of fatigue. Sports help you to relax and also gain self-confidence. Yes, and a taut, healthy look has not hurt anyone yet;
art. Even if a person has never held brushes in his hands - a good reason to do it now. Since ancient times, people have known about the healing power of art. In psychology, methods of rehabilitation from depression, which come down to drawing, are now widely used. It is easy to display your emotions on the canvas. Let the artistic value of the canvas be low, but it will help to cope with feelings;
helping others. If you can't solve your own problems, help others. Even if you do not believe in karma and the boomerang effect, helping your neighbor, from the point of view of psychology, has a substitution effect;
meetings with friends. But not for the purpose of crying on their shoulder, but to have fun. Discharge is the best panacea for obsession with a person.

Exceptionally reason and the ability to think distinguishes a person from other living beings. The brain has made our individual more conscious than the rest of the inhabitants of the planet. The main goal of consciousness is to create the most rational methods of responding to the world. We can be aware of one part of our thoughts because we purposefully think about something. The other we do not control, and it remains in our subconscious. We do not always notice this part of the work of our brain, while it creates new, much more effective behaviors.

As a side effect, our brains, through the “creative” process, can generate truly strange thoughts that may surprise or even alarm. I want to move away from such ideas as quickly and efficiently as possible. Let's look at how to get rid of obsessive thoughts and achieve clarity of mind.

It is not always possible to cope with this task on your own. However, there are a number of exercises, among which you can choose one or more that are optimal for yourself.

Firstly You can try to express your emotions. If disturbing thoughts have taken possession of your mind, it is enough to list them. It is this method that the gestalt therapist Nifont Dolgopolov advises. In the event that you are haunted by thoughts like “I don’t have time to do something ...” or “I worry about something ...”, you need to remember the circumstances in which you had these feelings. Perhaps, taking on some business, you suspected that you would not have time to finish it on time. You need to try to express your emotions very clearly. It will not be superfluous to strengthen them with body movements, shades of intonation and gestures. This procedure is best done where you will not be disturbed. Nifont Dolgopolov states that restraining emotions causes thoughts to constantly revolve around this problem. After a person has the opportunity to express his emotions, the endless cycle of thoughts stops.

Based on the second method which helps to get rid of intrusive thoughts, is correct breathing. In order for disturbing ideas to leave your head, you need to close your eyes and begin to breathe measuredly and calmly. While doing this procedure, listen to your body, follow its movements, control your breathing, watch how your stomach rises and falls. Wellness expert Lelya Savosina, telling how to get rid of intrusive thoughts through breathing, says that during this exercise it is better to concentrate on bodily sensations. The procedure helps to focus on something detached and relieves tension in the muscles.

Another way to get rid of obsessive thoughts is the following technique. You need to take a piece of paper and start writing on it whatever comes to your mind. No need to choose words and focus on spelling. You will be able to watch how your stroke turns from choppy and sharp to smooth. This will mean that you are gradually reaching inner balance. Psychotherapist Alexander Orlov claims that this exercise allows you to look at experiences from a different angle and gives vent to emotions. The same practice is used in the method of free association and the method of directed imagination. The basis of psychotherapy is free and trusting communication, during which everything that disturbs and excites is said.

Maintaining mindfulness is another way to ensure getting rid of intrusive thoughts. If a person is immersed in inner experiences, he begins to perceive worse what is happening around. This mechanism also works vice versa. Existential psychotherapist Maria Soloveichik advises to focus on the objects and events around you, immediately after you notice that you have fallen into the trap of obsessive thoughts. You can turn your eyes to the most insignificant little things like a leaf on a tree. If you do not focus on such details, you will again return to the sphere of thinking. Once you have noticed this reaction in yourself, take up careful observation again. Try to expand the field of your perception. For example, after the leaf, start looking at the crown of the tree, switching to small details from time to time. Change your focus periodically. Let not only trees, but also people, houses, clouds and other objects fall into your field of vision. This technique can make your life much easier, as it will be much easier to deal with obsessive thoughts.

Many who are fond of psychology know that a person is constantly in one of three states of his inner "I": Parent, Child or Adult. Everyone tends to make decisions like an adult, to help and care like a parent, and to obey and act up like a child.

Doctor psychological sciences Vadim Petrovsky states that, the constant scrolling of obsessive thoughts represents an endless communication with one of the "I". In order to effectively reduce the notorious internal dialogue to nothing, one should learn to understand who is currently speaking from these three “Selves”. In the case when your thoughts are focused on the scenario of failure, most likely your inner voice in the form of a parent is talking to you. Transactional analyst Isabelle Crespel argues that in such a situation, you need to get the critic to start speaking in the tone of a mentor who tells you how to do the right thing and how to make the right decision. At the same time, you need to mentally support yourself with motivating phrases like "Be sure that everything will work out", "You can do everything." Such an internal attitude will help to concentrate on constructive solutions.

Answering the question of how to distract from obsessive thoughts, it is worth mentioning another method, which is to ask yourself questions. In most cases, we are not worried about real difficulties, but only about perceived problems. The author of the “Work” methodology, psychologist Kathy Byron, advises, if it is impossible to change reality, try to change thoughts about it. She suggests asking yourself four questions: “How true is this?”, “Am I 100% sure that this is true?”, “How do I react to these thoughts?” and “Who would I be without these thoughts?”

Let's say you have no idea how to do the right thing because you think that someone will be upset or angry. By working with the above methodology, you will come to the conclusion that no one will be angry with you and that you have thought it up yourself. In another case, you may realize that thinking about someone's dissatisfaction is just an excuse for laziness and inaction. Such a technique will help to understand the relativity of many of our beliefs, change the angle of perception and discover completely unusual solutions to certain problems.

Since it is not always possible to remove obsessive thoughts, you can practice meditation as a way to get rid of unnecessary worries. Yoga coach Natalya Shuvalova is sure that a person concentrates on good and bad thoughts. Meditation, on the other hand, helps us focus solely on what benefits us. You can focus on your breath, a particular symbol, or even a sound. To begin with, it will be enough to learn to observe detachedly your feelings and mental experiences. Having previously taken a comfortable position, begin to follow all the processes that occur in your brain and body. Let your emotions, thoughts and sensations flow by. You should not judge them, you just need to try to study them. Natalia Shuvalova says that it is very important to understand that we are able to control thoughts and emotions, and not vice versa. Observation turns off thoughts and frees the head from obsessions.

Another method that helps to overcome unnecessary ideas is the method of muting the sound. Alexey Sitnikov, a business consultant and Doctor of Psychology, says that we present the most important events and memories for us as vividly and picturesquely as possible. If we imagine the stream of thoughts as a movie, then what better quality image and sound, the stronger the impact on us of a particular plot. Therefore, the most obsessive ideas and thoughts should be “viewed” with muffled sound and a fuzzy image in order to significantly reduce the level of its impact. This will greatly reduce their importance.

If exercises aimed at solving the question of whether how to get rid of intrusive thoughts, do not help, it is likely that the latter have become so intense that the above methods do not give proper calm. Psychoanalyst Ksenia Korbut believes that it is correct to consider obsessive thoughts as a protective mechanism of the human psyche, helping to overcome frightening and unpredictable feelings. They often occur in people who do not know how or are not able to show emotions. It is in such situations that a person tries to explain logically certain experiences or reduce them to something rational and understandable. In view of the fact that it is impossible to do this, we are forced to repeat them over and over again to no avail.

In the event that you cannot distract yourself from obsessive thoughts, it makes sense to contact a specialist who will create the conditions for understanding the world of your own emotions.

Psychologist's answer:

Hello Daria.

How to distract yourself from past relationships?
The more diligently you will be artificially distracted, the deeper you will sink into memories. It's like "don't think about white monkeys". Yes, I never think about them. But as soon as I give myself the order not to think about white monkeys, I just do what I think, embellishing with fantasy pictures.
Let's start in order.
Divorce.
Survived and echoes of the events associated with divorce, you are not overly worried. So the gestalt is complete and you are moving on life path. Digressing from the topic, I want to warn you that communication with your father is very important for your children for their inner self-worth. They love both parents (that's the way kids are, that's normal). The first husband is no longer your husband, but he is the father of your children and will remain so forever. It is advisable to respect his fatherhood and support him in every possible way. Do not insult (especially in the presence of children). Insulting him, you insult yourself (after all, you chose him and became his wife, even gave birth to children from him, which means he was good for you) and humiliate the origin of your children.
Fans.
Fans from the word worship. This is a great reinforcement of your femininity, beauty and charm. Gratitude for courtship is a simple courtesy. A person tries to please you - to say words of gratitude - a good tone. The irritation that a colleague generates in you is most likely caused by the fact that you compare one fan with another (young and elderly) and this lowers your self-esteem and stimulates negative emotions. Fine. What to do? Be glad that you are noticed, be grateful and be proud of yourself.
Physical overload.
In a person, everything is interconnected very tightly: emotions, thoughts and body. This is the person. When emotions are on the verge of a tsunami, backed up by disturbing thoughts, the body cannot remain indifferent, it will certainly respond with discomfort or even illness. But through the body, you can influence emotions and, oddly enough, thoughts. Fitness, dancing, vocals, etc., all this contributes to the release of negative emotions to the outside, without hurting anyone. You can hang a punching bag at home and bludgeon it. And yet, it is very, very, very important to rest!! Sleep, eat, recover from stress, pamper yourself. All of this will only get better. You can cry if you want, you can share with true friends - this will give relief.
Love.
Yes, of course, dating a married man is not ethical. But he can get a divorce if he meets his true love. It must be assumed that not everything is going smoothly in his marriage, since he is dating another woman. Remember Carlson said: "Calm, only calm." No need to make "sharp movements". Your ban on calls is a call. He is an adult and he decides who to call and who not. You suffer primarily from unfinished relationships, which you yourself broke off without understanding. What if he had some unfinished business? He is still a married man. I think you should calmly discuss with him what is happening and what his plans for the future regarding the relationship with you. Only without claims and insults, respecting someone else's opinion and choice.
Before the conversation, you yourself should decide whether this person is dear to you and the relationship with him or not? Without resentment and excessive ambition. And when you put the last point, it will be easier for you to live, certainty contributes to the construction of new plans.
I recommend consulting with a specialist psychologist (at least in correspondence).