Every day a person experiences various emotions, both positive and negative. Naturally, the more good emotions, the happier a person is. But negative emotions do a lot of harm. Because of them, the mood deteriorates, which also affects the physical condition of a person.
Negativity leads to stress, and sometimes to depressive states. There are people who easily deal with negative emotions without focusing on them. And there is a category of people who accumulate resentment in themselves, become isolated, do not know how to splash out the negative, which is fraught with serious illnesses. That is why it is necessary to deal with any negative emotions.
Ways to deal with negative emotions
1. Sports. Physical activity is a very good distraction from various bad thoughts, increase the overall tone of the body, give vitality.
2. Smile. Even if you really don’t feel like it, look in the mirror, remember something good, pleasant, and you will involuntarily smile. You can also hang photos around the apartment in which you sincerely smile or laugh. When they get into your eyes, they will make you smile.
3. Pour out your negative emotions on paper. Get a notebook and at the end of each day write down everything that you would like to forget, throw out of your life. You can just take a separate sheet of paper every day, write down all the negative on it, and then tear it, burn it or cut it into small pieces with scissors. The same must be done with the notebook when it is finished.
4. Dance. Turn on some fun music and, without thinking about the movements, let go of your body. You can even close your eyes, let your arms, legs, head, torso move as you want.
5. Aromatherapy. Surrounding aromas affect us morally and physically. You, of course, have noticed that unpleasant odors cause irritation, they spoil the mood. But pleasant aromas, on the contrary, cheer up, evoke positive emotions. Therefore, a lit aroma lamp with essential oils of orange, peppermint, lavender, tangerine helps to relax and distract very well.
6. Scream. Turn on loud music and shout. Or choose a day in the week when you will release emotions, go into the forest and scream there until you feel better. Just don't overdo it.
7. Take a shower. Try to keep the water temperature pleasant for the body. Wash your head. The best way to do this is with herbal decoctions, the smell of which will soothe.
8. In any conflict situation keep yourself under control. Calmly perceive what is happening, do not let negative emotions take over your mind.
9. Meditations and breathing exercises. It is necessary to learn how to relax not only the body, but also the mind. Breathing exercises not only relieve negative emotions, but also have a positive effect on health.
10. Give yourself a little gift. It can be some thing that you have long dreamed of, or going to the cinema or theater, visiting the zoo, that is, something that you have limited yourself to before. You can try aliexpress coupons.
11. Sleep. As a rule, sleep contributes to the rest of both the body and the soul. Therefore, a good sleep will set you up for positive, and yesterday's problems will seem to you not at all as important as it seemed at first glance.
12. Help other people. Among your acquaintances there will always be a person who needs support or help. Helping another person, you yourself will feel that you are becoming different.
Try to identify what causes negative emotions in you. Maybe by finding out their cause, you can avoid them next time. Put a little effort, cheer yourself up, it's in your power. Do not forget that there is a way out of any situation. Therefore, your task is to find it and change your condition for the better.
The inability to control our emotions, sometimes, not in the best way affects our relationships with other people. If you want to avoid problems in many areas of life due to the inability to suppress your anger, jealousy and other negative feelings, then we recommend that you use some simple tips.
Managing your own emotions - good or bad
It should be understood that the control of emotions does not mean a ban on emotions in general. We are talking about the upbringing of an internal culture, which, as a rule, characterizes precisely decent and self-confident people. Please note that there is nothing wrong with freely demonstrating your spontaneous positive emotions, but this should in no way prevent you from suppressing negative manifestations of feelings in special situations. As you already understood, control of emotions can be called management, first of all, involuntary emotions, which in turn can be called one of the most important components of a person's self-control. It is also important to understand that control in no way equals prohibition. If you learn to control your emotions well at the right time, then, of course, this will only play into your hands. When a person is truly mature, he will not complain about the lack of self-control - he diligently develops it. And in general, complaints are behavior inherent in children and “adult children” who do not want to grow up. As a result, we can conclude that for a comfortable life in society, control of emotions is still needed. However, for a neurotic and unrestrained person, this will not be easy - in this case, such a task can do more harm than good. Such a person will be even more annoyed, and as a result, the situation may turn out to be worse than it was originally. At the same time, it is important to emphasize that the total inability to restrain oneself refers to mental disorders, no matter how serious it may sound. Perhaps it makes sense to consult a specialist. If you learn to manage your emotions, then there will be no need to control them. Remember that the spontaneous nature of emotions interferes with our achievement of long-term goals - our mood swings can complicate own life at the most inopportune moment. It is very difficult to come to the realization of one's true purpose for a person who regularly succumbs to an emotional outburst.How to learn to control your emotions and manage them
We often get emotional at the wrong time. Not always one of our reactions is an adequate response in a given situation. Probably, you yourself have noticed that in moments of emotional outburst, often, we think much worse than in a calm state. Sometimes, you just need to move away from the situation, but internal impulses simply do not allow it. And yet, a person who has managed to make himself a developed personality understands how useful it is to be able to manage your emotions. Also, for sure, many understand that an educated person differs from an ill-mannered person in that he is able to control himself, even when it is rather difficult. In general, self-control is very important. What techniques can you use to cultivate self-restraint? "Hold" your face This advice is very simple, but has a tremendous effect. Even if a negative emotion has already arisen for you, do not let it show on your face! If you manage to do this, the intensity of emotions will obviously become less. With some effort, for sure, you will be able to develop the skill of “calm presence” in yourself. As you know, the Indians are famous for the fact that they often skillfully control their emotions - not a single muscle flinches on their face when they are angry, disappointed or surprised. Perhaps, in such a reaction, the true inner strength of a person is manifested. Conclusion: no matter what storms overcome you inside, outwardly you should not demonstrate it. Breath In peak situations, it is important to monitor your breathing - when its rhythm changes, undergoes change and emotional condition. Just calmly inhale and exhale, and your condition will gradually return to normal.
When you are the boss, you need to learn to control yourself emotionally
People who find themselves in leadership positions often cease to adequately evaluate colleagues over time, demanding more from them than they are able or able to give. As a result, an employee who does not live up to expectations falls under emotional fire. Think about it, perhaps in your team there is a similar situation, and you simply demand more from people than they are obliged to do. If this is not the case at all, and you understand that the employee has not coped with his immediate duties, then it is much more effective to reprimand him in a cold and strict tone than to go on shouting.Ways to deal with emotions when you are a subordinate
The most important thing is not to try on the image of the victim. Sometimes, an employee who is offended by the manager almost “relishes” the painful phrases that he voices. A person does not analyze the spoken words, does not think what caused them - he simply accumulates hatred for the boss. Of course, it is not easy to be neutral towards a person who radiates negativity in your direction, but it is also important to remember that hatred destroys a person, so you should not cherish it. Perhaps, in some similar situation, you are not able to give a worthy rebuff, but you are certainly capable of ignoring. When you realize that the situation has become a peak, just turn off your consciousness. You don't have to prove anything to your opponent. Wait until he speaks out, and only then calmly tell him what you wanted. Do not worry that this will not be timely - this will not cancel the desired effect.How to become emotionally stable in any situation
Learn to deal with negative emotions and not succumb to them
If you develop the following skills in yourself, then it will be much easier for you to learn how to manage your emotions.- Attention management. You should pay attention to important, positive things, and try not to focus on the negative. Control of facial expressions. In particularly difficult situations, it is advisable to save face and not show that you are overcome by any negative emotions. Developed imagination. It helps, if necessary, to distract from unpleasant situations, and “switch” to something else. Breathing. When you learn to control your breathing, it will be easier for you to calm yourself.
Do not suppress or hide your emotions - it is important to be able to control them
As we have already noted, do not forbid yourself to express emotions. We are talking about something completely different - emotions need to be kept under control! Do not give vent to too negative manifestations of feelings, and allow yourself to demonstrate a positive mood. Let's find out what a person who is not able to control negative emotions can lose. 1) Positive state A person who has been overcome by negative feelings is hardly capable of thinking positively. Having succumbed to the influence of anger, anger, or something like that, he is unlikely to be able to “tune in” to another wave in the near future. 2) Calmness Sometimes, this is even more important than being positive. A person who is in a calm state is always able to think more soberly than one who is subject to overwhelming emotions. 3) Relationships Unfortunately, many relationships, which include love, friendship, business, are collapsing due to the fact that someone failed to restrain the flow of negativity in time. Often such behavior undermines trust, kills feelings, which in the end often leads to a break in relations. 4) Reputation A person who allows himself frequent manifestation negative emotions, is unlikely to have a reputation as a respected and adequate person. When you don’t know what to expect from the interlocutor or you assume that he may suddenly flare up or something like that, you try to limit communication with him. Gradually, an opinion is formed about a person that does not paint him at all. 5) Control over life Those who are not able to control their emotions cannot fully control their lives. By succumbing to a sudden impulse, a person can lose a lot or face other unpleasant consequences of his impulse. As a result, the life of such a person is less successful than it could be. In general, the list of losses does not end there, but it is already obvious from the points listed that the lack of control over emotions can sometimes lead to an unpleasant outcome.
Techniques for coping with over-emotionality
identification technique. It can help in some peak situations when you need to control yourself. In such cases, it is useful to imagine yourself not as yourself, but as someone else. You can try on the image of some hero or person that you want to be like in such moments. Accordingly, you should react and act in the same way as the person with whom you identify yourself would do. The method is quite suitable for creative people with a developed imagination. Self-hypnosis technique. You may well use a simplified self-hypnosis technique. At the right time, you should say certain attitudes to yourself: “I control myself”, “I am invulnerable and calm”, “Nothing will drive me crazy”, and the like.Parenting Books on Managing Emotions
If you understand that your family members are not always able to cope with the intensity of any emotions, then, of course, it makes sense to get acquainted with the literature that teaches you how to cope with the manifestation of negativity. Special attention? You may like the methodology that Richard Fitfield offers in his book “Managing Emotions. Creation of harmonious relations. Also a lot of useful information can be gleaned in the book "The New Positive Psychology: A Scientific View of Happiness and the Meaning of Life" (Seligman Martin E.P.). For many parents, the work of Capponi W. and Novak T. “Your own psychologist” or Rainwater J. “It is in your power to help in managing emotions can help. How to become your own psychotherapist. Emotion management does not need to be imagined how special difficult task, however, and not to attach importance to it, too, is not worth it. It is often difficult to achieve the set goal for people who have already missed the moment of the emergence of an emotion, did not warn it and the actions of the interlocutors who created these emotions. It is easy for an experienced specialist to understand whether a person is able to control his emotions by studying his “body language”. If a person is imperturbable, his body is relaxed and collected - he is probably able to master his condition at the right moment. If a person's movements are chaotic, his gaze is uncertain or wandering, then, apparently, it is not easy for him to cope with possible negative reactions. Also, a specialist can give a very disappointing assessment to a person whose body is very tense, clamped, or as if “trembling”. What is meant by the last definition? "Rattle" is characterized by uncontrolled tension running through the body - it can be twitching of the fingers, lips, muscles near the eyes, and so on. These symptoms can be learned to be controlled by training "calm presence", which is mentioned separately in this article. There is another important condition for managing emotions - you should learn to relax yourself in various conditions and situations. Always make sure that the body is in a calm state - such a skill will provide you with wonderful results.
Don Juan on the control of emotions (Carlos Castaneda "Controlled Stupidity")
The last point will tell you about stalking - a special technique that helps to track down your emotions and feelings in order to keep them under control. In Castaneda's writings, don Juan says that stalking can be called "controlled stupidity." If you have studied English language, then, for sure, you know that the word "stalking" comes from the verb "to stalk", which means "secretly pursue, using various tricks and tricks", and usually refers to hunting. A hunter is called a stalker. Don Juan Matus taught Castaneda how to hunt, first offering to study the habits of wild animals. The author of the book is convinced that in Everyday life you should not forget about the stalker method. It is obvious that the actions of the stalker, as a rule, are based on observations, and not at all on what he thinks. Often we are unable to distinguish between our ideas and reality, confusing observation with judgment. Meanwhile, when a hunter watches, there is no place in his thoughts for reflection, condemnation, internal dialogue - he simply observes what is happening. Carlos Castaneda points out our attention to the fact that sometimes we not only do not control our negative emotions, but we indulge them. Many people know what it means to be offended by someone, angry or suffering for many years, without doing anything that could eliminate this state. Don Juan calls such indulgence of one's feelings, weaknesses and self-pity a waste of energy that brings only fatigue and deprives us of many accomplishments. Of course, there is no doubt that a person who indulges in such weaknesses becomes weak himself.
Text: Rita Popova
Ability to understand and manage your own emotions significantly simplifies life, and most importantly - makes it more enjoyable. We asked Tatiana Strashnenko, curator of the BHSAD Summer Intensive Course on Emotional Intelligence in Creative Business, to tell us how to deal with excessive emotionality at work and at home.
Emotions are the key to understanding yourself
and a better path to goals and meanings
We do not have time to fully experience positive emotions, and the situation is even worse with negative ones - most perceive them as something bad that needs to be got rid of at any cost. But our irritation, anger or fear can be important signals that the subconscious mind sends us. Emotions are the key to understanding yourself and the best path to goals and meanings.
There is famous saying: "Terrible is the wrath of a man who is angry once a year." If emotions are ignored, the energy that is given to us for action (for example, to run or fight when fear arises) accumulates inside and becomes destructive. Almost everyone has experienced a state of emotional storm, when emotions take over so much that we are practically not aware of our actions and words. When the storm subsided, the person comes to his senses and sincerely wonders what it was. However, if his behavior does not change, ignoring his feelings will most likely lead to a new breakdown.
AT last years psychologists are talking more and more about a set of emotional competencies that can and should be developed. Even our rather conservative education gets rid of stereotypes like "boys don't cry" or "girls should always be cute." Serious work with emotions and fixing new habits requires effort and time, but the first steps in developing your own emotional intelligence you can start doing right now.
Recognize and name
How often do you tell yourself that you are angry, discouraged, resentful, anxious, or tender? If you do this regularly, congratulate yourself and put this article aside. If not, start right now. Ask yourself: “How do I feel right now?” - and write down the answer in the language of feelings and emotions. Remembering an event from the past, analyze it from the point of view of not words and deeds, but feelings. Get a special notebook in which at least once a day you will write down the emotional states that you experienced during the day. Gadget lovers can opt for a smartphone app like Mood O Scope or Emotion Diary.
When you recognized and named your emotional state, you did some very meaningful things. First, acknowledge that you feel it - instead of ignoring the emotions. Secondly, they took responsibility for what is happening (not “he made me angry”, but “I got angry”), which means that the management of this situation is now in your hands. In other words, you have ceased to be an object affected by various emotions, and have become the subject, that is, the master of the situation. Thirdly, you reminded yourself in time that anger or anger is not inherent in your personality - it's just a temporary state that comes and goes, it happens to everyone.
Choose how to manage
Once you've realized how you're feeling, it's important to take control of the situation. If you control an emotion, then you can use this resource for a good cause, and if a strong emotion controls you, the consequences are unpredictable. For example, when we experience anxiety, we want to immediately drop everything and hide somewhere. But if we are aware of the anxiety and manage the situation, we double-check our plans and actions, analyze weaknesses and possible risks. In a calm state, we might be too lazy to do this, but anxiety gives us a stimulus to action and additional energy.
If you find that you are experiencing an emotion that is considered negative, do not rush to get upset. After the question "What do I feel now?" and an honest answer to it, ask yourself the following question: "How can I use it?" What if my resentment prompts me to prove something to others? Shouldn't I use my angry mood to finally say "no" to a person who has long been using my kindness? Does my fear indicate that I have not fully clarified or thought through the upcoming action?
Reduce emotional intensity
If you realize that you can't cope with your emotions, the most important thing is to relax, reduce the emotional intensity in order to be able to think soberly. You can help yourself with this by fairly simple, but quite effective methods.
DRINK COOL WATER. Remember that stress is a physiological reaction of the body, and water regulates metabolic processes, cools both literally and figuratively. In addition, the procedure can serve as a "switch": drink slowly, in small sips, focusing all your attention on the process.
BREATHE. In stressful situations, our breathing speeds up or freezes, as if we stop breathing altogether. Normalizing breathing, we normalize our condition. Take a few deep breaths, if possible, close your eyes and fully focus on your breathing, without being distracted by anything extraneous. If you want, you can connect your imagination: imagine how with each breath you are filled with something pleasant (warmth, sunlight, fresh air) , and with each exhalation, all unpleasant sensations and emotions leave you (for example, in the form of black or gray smoke).
MOVE OR WALK ENERGICALLY. Physical activity perfectly burns negativity. If at the same time you count steps, follow your breath, clap your hands in a certain rhythm, or perform any other activity that requires concentration, your mind will be forced to distract from “chewing” unpleasant thoughts. If it is not possible to move, try to change the position of the body in space - very often mental "sticking" is accompanied by immobility. Sometimes a simple change of perspective literally helps to see the situation in a new way.
DO SELF-MASSAGE. Even if you don't know anything about reflexology and human anatomy, there are a few simple tricks available to anyone in almost any situation. Rub your palms vigorously and massage your fingers. Close your eyes and place your hand on your forehead without lowering your head. Also, bioactive points, the impact on which reduces the level of stress, are located above the upper lip and under the lower lip, strictly in the middle. Massage each or both together for 2-3 minutes.
Analyze and draw conclusions
Once you have become aware of your emotion and have chosen a course of action, be sure to return to the situation and analyze it. What caused the anger? Were there real grounds for anger? Did my interlocutor really want to offend me, or was he just poorly educated and incorrectly informed? After all, did I provoke such a reaction of the interlocutor? What other behaviors are there in this situation? Do I always react in this way in such cases? Such an analysis is especially necessary if you failed to take control of the situation in time and you acted under the influence of emotions.
Unfortunately, people usually do not return their thoughts to a negative experience, but seek to forget it as soon as possible. As a result, instead of invaluable experience and new knowledge about ourselves, we are left with guilt, shame and disappointment. But if you make it a rule to regularly analyze your emotions, after some time you will replace automatic reactions with a conscious choice of a behavior model. After all, there are always a lot of options for behavior - when you are calm and fully aware of what is happening.
TOP best advice, which will help you control your emotions with two clicks of your fingers. Get armed!
What kind of feelings we experience every day: joy, sadness, anger, tenderness, distrust, admiration, envy and much more.
And if sensations with a plus sign should be enjoyed for as long as possible, then negative guests should be escorted out as quickly as possible.
Better yet, don't let them into your heart at all.
This article will help you emotion management.
Believe me, it is not so difficult to tame your feelings, to make sure that they do not lead you, but you lead them.
Is it necessary to control emotions?
You probably know that all people are divided into psychotypes.
And, if, for example, extroverts instantly bring down their emotions on another person, acting absolutely thoughtlessly and often to their own detriment, then introverts remain a closed book, hiding all feelings inside.
Often people are not even willing to learn or pacify envy, or control anger, or extinguish anxiety, attributing everything to: “Humble up! That's my character!"
Naturally, it is much easier to blame innate data for your problems and difficulties than to take a course: “ How to manage emotions and put in a little effort.
Don't underestimate the destructive power of negative feelings.
Psychologists have long described what their danger to humans is:
From simple excitement to a state of affect is not such a long way as it might seem to you at first glance.
Just think, you got angry at your husband, who once again threw his socks not in the dirty laundry basket, but under the bed. They wound themselves up and ran to sort things out.
And the husband instead of the standard: “Sorry!” grumbled something like: “Take it and put it away yourself, they don’t bother me.”
It’s good if everything turns into a banal quarrel, and does not end in crime.
Most domestic crimes occur because of the little things.
inability control emotions lead to problems with others.
Even if your parents, friends, husband / wife, colleagues love you very much, sooner or later they will get tired of your imbalance, which means you are at risk.
If you could not immediately cope with a negative emotion and carried it with you for some time, then it left its mark.
With each new negative, the trail will begin to increase, and soon you will be surrounded by negative energy, and this muck, as you know, has not brought anything good to anyone yet.
The inability to control emotions is one of the signs of a person's mental disorders.
Yes, yes, as scary as it sounds.
It's one thing if you flare up once, but it's quite another if any little thing provokes you to a surge.
In this case, it is better to see a specialist.
Bosses are afraid of people who express their feelings too violently, not only negative, but also positive.
No one will entrust the management of a company or the maintenance of an important contract to an unbalanced type, which means that you can forget about a good career.
How to control emotions?
When you feel bad, you forget about everything ... And when you feel good - even more so ... We generally became somehow surprisingly insensitive. And emotionless. Only tragedy, catastrophe can arouse feelings in us - and even then not always. And when everything is fine, we simply do not notice it, we are not happy with what we have ... We simply do not have time to notice it.
Oleg Roy. Daughters-mothers, or holidays in Atyashevo.
If you have stepped on your foot in public transport, got rude in the store, a colleague answered rudely, etc., do not give free rein to your first impulse: to rush into battle.
Count slowly in your mind to 10, after "ten" you will no longer want to be rude or scandalous.
Every time you go shopping at the market, do you come back annoyed because you again quarreled with one of the sellers?
Buy products in a supermarket, through an online store, ask your husband or mother to take on this unpleasant duty for you.
The emerging emotion.
Imagine the anger rising within you in the form of fire, and then imagine how a powerful wave falls on it, leaving not even an ember.
Do this exercise regularly and it will be easier every time to “extinguish” negative emotions.
Learn to feel sorry for the one who caused you negative emotions.
Well, just look at your boss, who regularly pisses you off.
A sick old woman, without a husband, without a family, clings to this job, because no one is waiting for her at home, except for cats.
Yes, her only joy is to provoke you to anger. So why not deprive her of her last consolation?
Get out of conflict the right way.
In the minibus, a woman pushed you and instead of apologizing, she said something rude.
Don't give a damn!
After two stops, you will get out and never see this boorish woman again, and she will remain a fat, uneducated woman with a bunch of g ... ..
Emotions are what makes us human. But sometimes the manifestation of feelings is completely inappropriate, interferes with thinking sensibly and leads to mistakes. You cannot (and should not!) keep yourself from experiencing certain emotions. But it must be manifested and expressed at the right time and in the right place. Use your feelings constructively and don't let them ruin everything you've been working towards for so long.
Don't rock yourself
Adjust the degree of your emotions like the temperature on a thermostat. Not too hot, not too cold - just right to feel good. This applies to both good and bad emotions.
An overabundance of excitement can be inappropriate, as well as overly aggressive or depressive behavior.
People who know how to control their emotions try all the time to avoid disharmony in their state of mind.
Stop to reflect
Do you feel like you are "boiling"? This is a dangerous condition, and you need to put yourself in order as soon as possible. Instead of reacting to the situation immediately, think about what tools and solutions can be used. Cool down and reflect on what happened, regaining your focus and ability to analyze. Hasty decisions often bring a bitter feeling of regret. On the other hand, a short pause will help you focus on the most important and choose an effective and tactful way to solve the problem.
Avoid emotional overload
Emotional overload is a situation in which a certain feeling completely overwhelms you. This condition is accompanied by physical symptoms such as increased heart rate, increased breathing, trembling knees, sweating, and nausea. Do you feel something similar? This is a clear sign that you are emotionally overwhelmed. Instead of going with the flow and giving up, brace yourself! Process the information in parts, gradually coming to your senses. You can evaluate the result with a sober look.
Kate Ter Haar/Flickr.comPractice deep breathing
The reaction of the body to emotional overload directly affects all the muscles of the body. You experience tension, after which you will definitely feel overwhelmed. To avoid such surges, practice deep breathing. It will oxygenate your brain and help you relax. The technique is very simple: stop doing anything, close your eyes and inhale very slowly through your nose, counting five seconds. Hold your breath for another two seconds, and then exhale just as slowly through your mouth, counting to five again. Repeat at least 10 times.
Avoid emotional company
People are known to easily communicate their emotions to others. That is why you should avoid those who see only the negative in everything: you will borrow the same point of view without even noticing. The same applies to overly emotional people. If you want to control your feelings and be in harmony, you should distance yourself from those who can be called drama queens.
Think about the solution, not the problem
A negative reaction to a difficult situation is one of the most common problems associated with emotions. Feeling sad or angry as a reaction to changed circumstances is normal, but not rational.
You can not stop thinking about the problem, you need to use the time to think through a plan for the next action.
Make a list of possible solutions, be creative and . During work, emotions will fade into the background, you will emerge from the situation as a winner.