What are the rules of courtesy. Rules for good behavior for children

You study English, attend diligently (or study via Skype), learn words, listen to English speech ... But do not forget about one very important aspect: In order to communicate successfully in an English-speaking environment, it is essential to understand .

In order to be favorably accepted in any society, whether it be a student team, a work environment, and any random group of people who have gathered together, you just need to learn and remember forever a few simple rules that will provide you with an invaluable service in the future. Indeed, according to Cervantes, nothing is so precious and so cheap to us as courtesy!

Six "magic" words:

Please

Each of us is well aware that "please" is the magic word. However, often in everyday speech we forget about it, and quite in vain. When you ask someone for something, don't forget to add please: « Coffee, please!», « could you please turn off your cell phone?» - and the world will become kinder.

thank you

Don't forget to thank people.« Thanks you!» - « You are welcome!» ("Thank you!" - "No thanks!") , probably the most frequently used phrases in English language. Don't skimp on gratitude and be sincere.

Sorry

As Sir Elton John sings « Sorry seems to be the hardest word», but do not forget to ask for forgiveness in time (unless, of course, there is something for it): stepped on someone's foot, collided with someone on the street ... Option « I’ m sorry» sounds even more polite.

Excuse me

Another way to ask for forgiveness if your fault is not so great, for example, you sneezed in public.

This is very useful expression, which will help you, for example, find out the way to the nearest metro station (« Excuse me, would you know where the nearest subway is?»).

good morning!

Do not forget about congratulations, because there are so many reasons for this:good morning, good night, happy birthday, happy New year, congratulations("good morning", "good night", "happy birthday", "happy new year", "congratulations")...

In the morning at work, we can greet colleagues: « hey, good morning. how are you?» (“Good morning, how are you?”) - and do not forget to listen carefully to the answer: « Oh, pretty good. I" m fine. how are you?» (“Not bad, everything is fine. How about you?”)

We have listed six words that must be in the daily vocabulary of a polite person, and now let's move on to action!

So, six rules of polite behavior in an English-speaking society:

Smile, gentlemen!

"From a smile it will become brighter for everyone," That's why try to smile more often. This, however, does not mean that you need to smile all the time, but when meeting a person, you should smile, otherwise he will think that you are nervous, angry or upset about something. A smile signals that you are all right, "things go on and life is easy" and also about how pleasant the meeting is for you.

Avoid handshakes

It's more about business etiquette. a handshake is expected from you, and a strong, energetic one at that; hand must be dry. This is a rule from the category business etiquette and they should not be neglected.

Cover your mouth when yawning, coughing or sneezing

Sometimes we yawn - when we want to sleep or we are bored ... If at this moment you are in public, be sure to cover your mouth with your palm.

If you are attacked by a cough, cover your mouth and turn away from those present. Recent trends in sanitation and hygiene require coughing into the crook of your elbow, because if you cover your mouth with your hand when you shake hands, you can transfer germs to another person.

Respect the queue

In different parts of the world, there are many rules of behavior in queues. In English-speaking countries, you are expected to respect the order of precedence: do not push, try to skip the queue, you just need to ask who is the last one (« Who" s last?») and stand behind him.

Hold the doors

When you walk through a door, remember to hold it in front of the person following you. And it doesn't really matter whether they thank you for it or not, because our common task is to make the world kinder!

Keep your distance

Foreigners often do not know about this phenomenon, but it is accepted in English-speaking countries. When you're in a crowd, your personal space gets narrower, of course, but usually people should not come closer to each other than at arm's length. Otherwise, the interlocutor may feel uncomfortable, move away, retreat in order to prevent your intrusion into his comfort zone. (« comfort zone») : for example, in the case of a man and a woman, it may seem to a woman that a man is showing excessive obsession.

Respect the inviolability of personal space, whether you are standing or sitting. For example, when placed in a meeting room, the extreme places at different ends of the room will be occupied first of all; as long as there are empty seats in the hall, the participants of the event will not sit next to each other - this is an unwritten rule, which, however, is observed by everyone.

« Listen… Do you want to know a secret?..” And now - as promised, we will give you one invaluable advice. Don't be surprised, it's a bit unusual... We are talking about smells emanating from a person. So that society does not turn away from us (literally!) each of us must be 100% sure that a pleasant smell emanates from him: fresh breath (did you brush your teeth in the morning?), a light aroma of perfume, the absence of sharp foreign odors - “... and people will reach out to you!”

Do not forget to carefully monitor body hygiene, use deodorants and antiperspirants (the smell of sweat is absolutely unacceptable).

Also, take care of your clothes: in addition to being clean (of course), they should also not smell of anything else (tobacco, food aromas, etc.) - after all, even clean clothes easily absorb pungent odors. For example, heading to, try not to go into the kitchen if your mom / wife / husband / roommate is cooking something smelly - it will be almost impossible to get rid of this smell until the next wash.

What is politeness?

Politeness is the ability of a person to communicate with other people without conflict, with respect. A polite person is pleasant in communication, his manner of speaking, his manners. In general, he seems to show his interlocutor that he respects him, that he is pleased to talk with him, and most importantly, that the person himself received a good upbringing.

Why is politeness so important?

Perhaps you will argue that politeness is a vestige of modern society that only the arrogant and shameless survive. Yes, of course, these are extremely necessary skills for a middle manager, for office plankton, who are ready to devour each other for the opportunity to take a leather chair. But for some reason, a polite and calm person is sitting in an armchair, who can show toughness without resorting to yelling and bazaar tricks, but instill such fear that it would be better to swear. What's the secret? The secret is in the inner strength that courtesy and good manners give. Harmony with oneself is achieved in respect for the whole world, for the comprehension of the new, and courtesy will help you with this.

How to become polite?

Politeness is not only the learned rules of etiquette, but also the character of a person. Perhaps the person will rest their elbows on the table, but still give the impression of a polite and tactful person. Try to observe the following principles to become a polite, pleasant and positive person. And earn plus one to karma.

Keep your promises. No one likes rogues.

Listen to the interlocutor, do not interrupt him, even if you already understood him. Let the person finish their thought. You are not in the bazaar, have respect for the thoughts of the interlocutor, let him speak.

Do not criticize sharply something in front of an unfamiliar person. For example, you criticize vegetarianism, and your interlocutor, it turns out, does not eat meat. It can get pretty awkward. You do not intentionally offend a person, even without really getting to know him. So make jokes with your friends, not just acquaintances.

Do not forget magic words: thank you please. Try to use them more often, and you will notice that others will change their attitude towards you.

Do not swear, after all, this is an indicator of your level.

When you visit, take something for tea or a souvenir.

When you are driving, please turn off the high beams, follow the basic rules of courtesy and traffic.

Be condescending in conversation, how many people have so many opinions. If you do not agree with the interlocutor, you do not need to prove your case with foam at the mouth. From the fact that you will express your opinion in convulsions, your idea of the subject of the dispute will not change, but the interlocutor will be unpleasant.

If you find yourself in an unfamiliar place, take a closer look at other people. They will give you an example of how to behave in this situation. There is no shame in asking if something is unclear. If you say: “please help me figure it out”, I think that any person will answer you, and there is nothing shameful in this.

A handshake says a lot about a person. There is a whole science dedicated to this issue. A firm handshake with a look into the eyes of the interlocutor is considered normal. If a person gives his hand as if asking, palm up, then he is not confident in himself. If a person gives his hand like a royal person, palm down, then he has high self-esteem and signs of a tyrant. According to the old rules of etiquette, older men and women themselves offer a handshake. This is considered a sign of respect for them, that is, they have the opportunity to assess whether you are worthy of their handshake or not. So, if you are a woman or an elderly man, keep in mind that the interlocutor may expect you to be the first to extend your hand to him for a handshake.

Courtesy and etiquette

You can write a larger work than "War and Peace" on the subject of table etiquette. In modern society, it has become a little easier, just remember the basic rules:

Rules of etiquette in modern society

if a girl wants to eat, then there is nothing shameful to tell a guy about it. After all, people often meet after a working day. But ordering the most expensive dishes is bad manners.
if you sat with friends in a cafe, ordered little, and friends offer to split the bill equally, you have the opportunity to say that you did not expect to spend a large amount and pay only for yourself. If they start to reproach you, then your friends are insincere with you.
regarding expensive gifts, there is no clear restriction on etiquette: it can be accepted from a fan, it cannot. If you are uncomfortable with the gift or you don't like it, then you can return it, saying that the gift is very expensive and you will not be able to give something equivalent in the near future.

You can always determine the degree of culture of a person by his behavior. It is pleasant to communicate with a well-mannered person, but rough, vulgar speech leaves the worst impression.

What is politeness

Every person is a social being. People communicate with each other, create families, become colleagues. All members of society deserve respect. To avoid conflicts, insults, annoyance, polite treatment is accepted between the interlocutors.

Politeness is the ability to communicate tactfully, listen carefully to another point of view, show tolerance, the ability to decide conflict situations in peaceful way. Politeness and decency is the very tool by which people feel comfortable, free when communicating with their own kind.

Rules of courtesy

Since childhood, everyone knows the “magic words”: thank you, hello, sorry, sorry, thank you. Tact begins with politeness. This is the international norm. If such a quality as delicacy is considered innate, then good tone can be learned. Polite people know what is always necessary:

greet;
saying goodbye;
ask for forgiveness (when a mistake is made, or cause inconvenience to the interlocutor);
be interested (that is, provide the necessary minimum of attention, for example, ask: “How are you?”);
do not push passers-by with your elbows in order to get somewhere;
do not interrupt the interlocutor, especially if he is older in age;
do not shout to a friend who is far away.

The best indicator of a person's upbringing will be his restraint. A violent manifestation is completely unacceptable. negative emotions on people.

How to be polite

The rules of politeness are instilled in the child from childhood. Parents are always the first teachers. In the morning, children and parents say to each other: “good morning”, in the afternoon - “good afternoon”, and in the evenings - “good night”. Disputes at home are resolved on a verbal level. Educated parents analyze the causes of the conflict, behavioral error, explain to the child why he is wrong. The child should be given examples of how to act in a given situation. This is how little people are prepared for adult life in society.

Psychologists say: if you start the moral education of a child from 2-3 years old, then they are already 2-3 years late. Children take an example from the closest people. They imitate mom and dad, and it starts from the cradle.

The courtesy and attentiveness of the interlocutor are of particular value. Warmth and goodwill help a person to open up, to show their best qualities. Rudeness, ignorance, rudeness offend human dignity, cause moral harm to the individual. The offended person withdraws into himself, stops contacting the offender. Japanese psychologists have long noticed that a polite person will always be safe, and a boor and a rude person will definitely get into trouble.

Courteous behavior helps a person to acquire new useful contacts, to have many acquaintances, buddies and friends. Parents, in order to teach their child etiquette, must be patient themselves, do not put pressure on the child, do not shout. You can discuss the heroes of the books you read, analyze their behavior.

Secular manners forbid any indecency. When speaking, always be polite.

School teaches politeness

The school is called a second home. Here the educational process is carried out multifaceted, gradually and continuously. The school has its own tools for instilling cultural behavior in the student. There are a number of activities that contribute to the formation of polite behavior, which include:

themed class hours;
trainings;
seminars;
games.

Here it is customary to simulate situations. Schoolchildren play up the proposed plot: a queue at the store, a visit to the theater, an imaginary trip to public transport etc. These interactive methods contribute to the development of sociability, mutual understanding in children, teach the norms of polite behavior in an interesting, creative way.

More about courtesy

You should know that the rules of etiquette have been formed for centuries. The ground rules include a number of priorities to keep in mind, for example:

a man always greets first, opens the door, gives way to a lady;
younger ones greet first, give way to transport, help those who are older;
healthy people allow patients to see a doctor, give way to them, places in public transport;
subordinates greet the boss first;
when asking, you must say the word “please”;
for the help or service rendered, it is customary to say “thank you”, “thank you”;
if someone is brought inconvenience, grief, trouble, it is necessary to ask for forgiveness, apologize;
at an official reception, they first greet the owners, and then - by seniority;
when calling, you must introduce yourself;
punctuality is hallmark polite, cultured person.

If you follow the rules of politeness, communication becomes pleasant, delivers positive emotions, sets you in a positive mood, and forms a positive outlook on life.

An educational cartoon for children about what politeness is, see below.

How nice it is to hear from your crumbs polite phrases: "Thank you", "Please", "Be kind"; see manifestations of gratitude in response to care! In order for a child to learn polite words and expressions from early childhood, their constant use in speech by people around them is necessary. Then the baby will absorb everything like a sponge. However, politeness for children lies not only in memorized phrases, but also in tactful behavior, which also depends on the actions of adults. Only by your own example can you develop good manners in a baby.

What is politeness, what role does it play in human life

Important! Before teaching politeness lessons to children, parents themselves need to have a good understanding of what politeness is. The main thing in raising a crumb is not only to know how good manners are formed, but also to possess them yourself.

Politeness - essential quality a well-mannered person, which helps to establish moral balance, to facilitate the further path in life. In ancient times, the word "vezha" was used to refer to a connoisseur who knew the rules of decency, who was able to express a benevolent attitude towards other people. And today, communicating with a well-mannered person, you feel his benevolence, while a conversation with him brings joy and positive. At the same time, everyone in life has come across people who have a lot of positive qualities, but if they do not have good manners, then trouble begins. At the same time, if good manners are only a pretense, a means to achieve one's own goals, such tact does not inspire trust. Therefore, politeness is not a necessary measure of communication with people, it must come from the internal state of a person, from his general goodwill towards everything around him. The famous clergyman Francis of Assisi rightly said: "Politeness is closely connected with love. She is her younger sister, always accompanies her, and opens the gates of her hearts to her."

How to start teaching courtesy

Many parents have a question about how to teach their child politeness and good manners. Psychologists say that politeness for children begins with "magic" words. From an early age, the baby needs to be explained that in different situations you need to say: thank you, please, excuse me. These are the first words of politeness that every child should know. Experts give such advice:

Do not force your child to memorize these phrases automatically, try to make him pronounce them sincerely.
Pay attention to any little things for which you need to be grateful, as our daily life is made up of them.
Pay attention to the child that saying "thank you" every time, he learns to be grateful; wishing you good night or good morning, he himself is charged with positive.
It is worth explaining to the baby that you need to reckon with the rights of other people, do not express your negative thoughts loudly, restrain your emotions, replacing them with "magic" words.
Teach your child to defend his opinion not with shouts and fists, but with a polite attitude towards others.

Problems in teaching polite manners

It is not always possible for mothers, fathers and teachers to teach a child etiquette the first time. The main obstacles that adults may encounter when nurturing politeness in children are the following points:

the little one does not respond to the comments of adults;
keeps quiet when trying to get him to say "magic" words;
uses profanity in speech;
capricious and does not obey the requests of adults to show good manners.

What is it connected with?

How to deal with childish spontaneity

When educating politeness in children, parents often encounter childish spontaneity, which appears, it would seem, in the inability of children to behave correctly in society. Sometimes adults can get into such uncomfortable situations related to the violation of the rules of politeness by their children, such as:

pointing fingers at people in public places;
making fun of other children in an awkward situation;
discussing the unusual appearance of an outsider publicly;
discussing household chores in front of strangers;
violation of table etiquette (picking your nose, champing, grasping food with your hands, etc.).

Even with proper upbringing, such situations can arise from insufficient self-awareness of babies. In all these cases, parents need to talk with their child at home, explain what actions can and cannot be done. Try using different methods (see below in the text) to explain to the baby that if he were in the place of those people against whom unethical actions were performed, then it would become unpleasant for him to communicate with such guys.

How to teach children courtesy at home

It is known that the first rudiments of politeness are laid in the family. In practice, the rules of politeness for children are presented by relatives, and then by society. The peanut unconsciously copies the behavior of his moms and dads. Parents can take advantage of this and unobtrusively instill the first rules of etiquette, for example, if every evening you wish your child good night, and after waking up good morning, thank you for good deeds, ask for forgiveness in awkward situations, then children will behave the same way from infancy. How else can you teach children about politeness? On the advice of experts, we use the children's "alphabet of courtesy":

"polite" games

The game is the most accessible method for understanding and developing the necessary skills of politeness in the crumbs, as it is the leading activity in preschool age. The most effective in courtesy lessons for children will be story games: "Feed the doll", "Bear's birthday", "Shop", "Bathing the doll", "Bus driver", "Journey" and the like. Such favorite games for preschool children teach them the rules of courtesy and good manners. Even for the smallest, you can create play situations in which the baby will learn etiquette.

For example:

Take a doll or teddy bear, hold out its paw and say: Hello! The child will reach out and respond.
Pass any object with the toy and say: Please, this is for you! The peanut should say: Thank you!
Children are very fond of rhymes, you can play with toys, asking questions about politeness and good manners in poetic form:

Which of you, waking up cheerfully,
"Good morning!" say firmly? ( toys "answer" in a mother's voice: it's me, it's me, these are all my friends!)

Which one of you, tell me, brothers,
Forgetting to wash? ( similar: it's not me...)

Which one of you is fine
Dolls, books, chocolates? ( toys meet)

Which one of you is in the cramped tram
Giving way to seniors?

Which of you is silent like a fish,
Instead of a good "thank you"?

Who wants to be polite
Doesn't hurt kids?

"Polite" Riddles

Preschoolers like riddles in verse, when at the end of the phrase you can substitute correct word and finish the rhyme. Such riddles help unobtrusively fix the rules of politeness for children:

If you meet a friend, even on the street, even at home - do not be shy, do not be cunning, but say louder: ... ( Hello).
If you ask for something, then first do not forget to open your mouth and say: ... ( You are welcome).
If someone helped you with a word or deed, do not be shy to say loudly, boldly: ... ( Thanks).
It’s not too lazy to tell friends, smiling: ... ( Good afternoon).
We say goodbye to each other: ... ( Goodbye).
You shouldn't blame each other, it's better most likely... ( Sorry).
When you are guilty, you hurry to say: ... ( I beg you please excuse me).
Never get involved in someone else's conversation, and you are better than adults ... ( Do not interrupt).
The old stump will turn green when it hears: ... ( Good afternoon).
If a friend meets a friend, the friends shake hands with each other. In response to a greeting, everyone says: ... ( Hey).

Watching cartoons

There are many good cartoons that you can watch together with the baby, for example, about Winnie the Pooh, Thumbelina, Cheburashka, etc. After watching, discuss the right or wrong actions of the characters. Let the kid express his opinion on this matter. Listen without interrupting, this is also an element of politeness education. If you think that his opinion is not entirely correct, gently explain the wrong points.

Reading of books

Reading old good tales or author's stories, you can learn lessons of politeness from them. For example, the works of N. Nosov, V. Oseeva, G. Shalaeva, V. Stepanov and many others will help to understand what politeness is for children. Quite relevant in relation to good manners is Nosov's work about Dunno in the Sunny City. Or fairy tales "Two Greedy Bears", "Frost", "Polite Rabbit".

Numerous verses about politeness teach respect for the elders, care for the younger ones. In order for the baby to remember them, they must have a good rhyme and be accompanied by colorful pictures. For example, everyone knows Samuil Marshak's poem "A Lesson of Politeness", which refers to a bear cub who learned politeness. It is interesting to read the work of Agnia Barto "Lyubochka" to the children. After reading the books, be sure to discuss with the baby the characters, their actions, ask him unobtrusive questions. So you can make sure that the child really listened and understood what this piece is about.

Proverbs

In the culture of every nation, there are necessarily other folklore forms, in addition to fairy tales, which will also help to consolidate the rules of politeness for children. You can read proverbs about kindness and politeness, kids quickly remember them:

Feel free to talk about a good deed.
Life is given for good deeds.
Hello is not wise, but conquers the heart.
A kind word is better than a soft pie.
As you live, so you will be known.

Features of the children's "ABC of politeness"

Up to 3 years of age

At this age, the baby already knows many rules of etiquette, but at the same time, by the age of three, the baby begins to explore the world and looks for the boundaries of what is permitted. He fights more and more often, takes away toys from his peers, does not always say thank you, etc. Moms and dads face a difficult task - without losing peace of mind, to convey to their child all the negativity of his actions. This should be done in a serious tone, explaining to the baby bad behavior. After such a conversation, you should not immediately joke and laugh, otherwise the child will not understand anything. Reward and praise good deeds.

Children after 3-4 years

At this age, preschoolers develop specific character traits:

Preschoolers often complain about their playmates. But you can't blame them for being sneaks. This is because the guys are not always able to figure out relationships with their peers on their own and seek help from adults. It is worth gently explaining to the child that his friend did the wrong thing towards him and it is necessary to remind the friend of good manners.
Kindergarten-age children are often reluctant to share their toys. Previously, such actions were condemned, but modern psychologists say that a favorite toy is an extension of the child's own "I". You can not blame him for not parting with her. You can offer your baby to swap toys with another child for a while. Or, if he does not want to do this, let his favorite doll or car wait for him at home.

It happens that strangers begin to teach your child, what to do in this case? Even if you know that he is wrong and behaved ugly, show restraint and try to adequately get out of the situation. For a child, such moments can be instructive. Do not stoop to squabbles and trials. Politely answer that you will understand and talk with your baby yourself.
Always be on the side of your child, you need to scold him, but do it at home for behind closed doors. This applies to both toddlers and students. Other behavior of parents will be regarded as a betrayal.
At home, in a calm atmosphere, talk with your son or daughter, beat the situation again. If he thinks he is right, explain that in any case, you should not be rude to others.
By encouragement and remarks, much can be achieved in the education of politeness. Little children who are just learning the basics of etiquette should often hear words of praise. Then they will see the difference between good and bad deeds. If a preschooler acted tactlessly, before making a remark, find out why he did it that way. Perhaps there is an explanation for this behavior. It could be embarrassment or Bad mood, ignorance of the rules. If you do not learn to understand your baby, it will be difficult to establish contact with him in the future.
Discover certain rules for yourself and your children, following which it will be easier for parents to develop polite manners in the baby.
Decorate them colorfully, hang them in the house in a conspicuous place. A preschool child understands the word better in combination with clarity.
It is important that the child feels respect from his relatives and relatives, only then can you count on reciprocity.
Despite the openness and goodwill between children and parents, each of them should know their place. If the baby goes beyond the boundaries and begins to communicate with you as with peers, you need to delicately correct him.
It is always easier to pull the crumbs and chastise for misbehavior. It is more difficult to speak and talk, to explain how to behave correctly and how not. But you need to give your children a little more time, praise them for good deeds, remind them how proud their loved ones are of their child for this or that action, show their love. Then he will have a feeling of gratitude, he will want to say words like thank you, please, learn good manners.

All parents would like their children to grow up intelligent, polite people. And, therefore, it is necessary to educate and develop these qualities of politeness from early childhood. Of course, in society there are a huge number of rules of etiquette and ethics that make up the concept of politeness. And during their lives, children will have to get to know most of them. But it’s worth starting with the simplest rules of politeness, which we will now present to you in the form of a reminder. It can be beautifully printed and hung over the child's table so that he never forgets about them. This will be the first step in becoming a future or lady.

"Magic words": thank you and please. Remember to say these words when thanking people or asking for something.
"Hello!" and "Goodbye!". Always say hello and say goodbye to people: both adults and peers.
Do not interrupt the elders when they are talking - it is impolite. If you need to say something very important and urgent, first apologize for interrupting the adult conversation.
Do not take other people's things without asking.
Do not discuss aloud any person (whether it is bad, whether you want to say good about him). It is especially ugly to discuss a person's appearance or disability.
Answer if asked. It is impolite and ugly if you do not answer the questions put to you. If you don't like a question and don't want to answer it, say so directly.
Before entering the room, it will be polite to knock, and enter only after permission to enter.
During a telephone conversation, it is necessary to greet, introduce yourself and say goodbye in the same way as in a normal conversation. When talking on the phone, the same rules of courtesy apply.
Be sure to respect older people, women and girls. It is necessary to help them, skip ahead.
Do not push or push in crowded places, such as shops or transport.
Offer help and help people if they need it.
According to the rules of courtesy at the table, one must behave civilly, do not turn around, do not put elbows on the table, do not slurp.
Do not speak with a full mouth. Use a napkin while eating.
Do not reach across the entire table for food, but ask those who are sitting nearby to pass the dish.
Thanks for any gifts.
Do not be rude to people, and even more so do not swear.
Don't tease or call other people names.
or ask for forgiveness if something is wrong.
When coughing or sneezing, be sure to cover your mouth and use a handkerchief.
Don't pick your nose, don't bite your nails, don't spit or spit.

To start learning the basics of politeness, these twenty rules are enough for now. And parents should remember that no matter what rules of etiquette you inspire your children, they will still take an example from you. So start with yourself.